It seems that the treaty between Washington and Allegheny County is beginning to fail, and Mayor Steelhead of Pittsburgh is the center of controversy. Mount Washington in Pittsburgh has origins dating back to the first Washington County settlers. Mayor George Washington of Washington County has expressed his determination to regain ownership, but Mayor Steelhead is refusing. "Just because they landed on Mount Washington hundreds of years ago doesn't mean the mountain belongs

Mayor Dumdum of Titusville, President of East Crawford County, is showing desperation to turn the tide of County War One. After a nearly successful attempt to gain control of the northern portion of Venango County, Dumdum announced that he is raising a military out of Spartansburg, consisting of 300 men. Although this number seems oddly high for a community that appears to have only five residents, Dumdum has signed an order requiring all able-bodied men to report to the near

There is not much Venango has to offer the neighboring counties given that their military consists of only 3 men. Two have been sent to guard the northern border to prevent East Crawford from having access. The third is somewhere in Forest County trying to find his way to Marienville. Meanwhile, news of Elk County's invasion of Jefferson has reached the Outhouse in Oil City. President Mayor Blunders has signed an executive order for Venango County to send military aid by tomo

The Blunder Dam, built last year in an attempt to cut off Pittsburgh's water supply, has now served a purpose beyond flooding Rouseville. This week, President Mayor Blunders of Venango County signed an executive order to dye the Allegheny River green in honor of the holiday. The stagnant river, made possible by the dam, was in perfect condition for the algae they poured into the water. Not long afterwards, all the fish were belly up. The river reeked of that same charm you g

More threats are coming to Pittsburgh as Washington County is demanding ownership of a mountain they claim belongs to them. Almost a month has gone by since Washington County congress first made the demand for Pittsburgh to surrender the rights to Mount Washington. Now, other agreements may fold thanks to the political tension surrounding his demand. A recent treaty between Beaver, Washington, and Allegheny County sought to strengthen relations between the neighboring nations

Venango County's contribution to County War 1 is failing miserably after little Timmy was spotted at Cougar Bobs in Tionesta. According to one commenter, the military member sent to Marienville is now heading the wrong way. Despite being dropped off closer to Marienville, he is deviating closer to Tionesta. Little Timmy shocked the world by heroically ending the siege of Franklin Pennsylvania more than a week ago. When all other military personnel struggled to combat East Cra

An anti-social protester raised his voice today against the act of personal engagements. At 7 a.m. Thursday morning, the man, identified as Iwas Homeschooled, stood on a street corner holding a sign that said “NO MORE SOCIALIZING.” We attempted to get a statement, but he wouldn’t let us come close. Other protesters joined the anti-socialist by standing on their own street corners. One man was so passionate, he drove all the way out to the woods to voice his perspective. He wo

If you are reading this, it means you aren't dead. Congratulations on making it this far through the winter. In honor of your crowning achievement, the city of Erie has announced plans to award you 250 houses in the next five years. There's only one catch; it falls somewhere between now and the next five years. Infinite Erie gathered recently to discuss a plan to address the homeless dilemma plaguing people who are homeless. Their solution; use state funding to produce affor

The technological advancements pertaining to East Crawford’s space program have progressed even further with a substance propelling test rockets to higher altitudes. Reports from the Crawford Carnage state that scientists at the University of Titusville have discovered the benefits of increasing the black powder contents by a slight percentage. A test launch early Wednesday morning resulted in progress not before seen by TASA scientists. The rocket managed to make it an entir

The homeless population is filling up the Ohio River as Beaver County residents are finding it impossible to keep up with financial demands. A recent study finds that more than 50 percent of residents residing in the river have lost their dams after wood-cutting companies quit hiring for the winter. Consequently, panhandlers are taking up space on both embankments all through the county. Mayor Dambuilder of Aliquippa, capital of Beaver County, states that his administration i

The Pennsylvania Land and Treaty Organization is now facing three adversaries. Elk County has joined Warren and East Crawford by invading Jefferson County and its industrial city of Brockway. Alarms sounded early this morning as Elk County soldiers entered the city. Without warning, Brockway residents were stampeded and forced to retreat to the nearby city of Crenshaw. Jefferson County troops tried to make a stand, but were overcome by the massive size of each enemy soldier’s

Southwestern Pennsylvania is working towards a safer future as the three major superpowers have finally negotiated their own treaty. Coverage of today’s meeting in the Oval Office of President Mayor Steelhead of Pittsburgh showed the county leaders disputing among each other in what many call the most essential policy between each region. Mayor DamBuilder of Aliquippa, capital of Beaver County, states that it has always been his intent to secure a treaty for the well-being of

"We just don't feel like having 11 separate protests," states the coordinator of the 11-person gathering. "It was just easier to give everyone a different sign and let them decide what to protest." A massive 11-person march attempted to call out Washington this weekend, with each person taking on their own political topic. With politics now pertaining to no more than 11 subjects, the coordinators felt Clarion was the perfect spot, given that this exact same number pertains to

The pressure is on for Mayor Steelhead of Pittsburgh, now that Mayor Blunders is threatening to use force in order to gain control of the Allegheny River. The bill proposed roughly a year ago sought to claim the rights to the Allegheny River in order to change its name to the Gulf of Venango. Unfortunately, those rights are still in the hands of Allegheny County, and Mayor Steelhead of Pittsburgh is refusing to sign over the name. Last year, Mayor Blunders attempted several i

After successfully driving East Crawford from the region, Venango County has declared their intent to aid Forest in reclaiming the industrial city of Marienville. The city, which has been in the hands of East Crawford for the last two weeks, is getting sick of looking at the two soldiers resting in their town center. "They've been sitting in their lawn chairs for days," states Mayor Mouthwash of Marienville. "Our military can do nothing because we don't have one." Laurel and

Washington County Congress met today to discuss the dilemma surrounding the power grid controversy. According to sources, a shortage of power capacity currently conflicts with the demand for more electricity. Rising demands may put a strain on the power grid in such a way that locals will be forced to live as settlers. So far, congress members have achieved nothing in the debate because they still are confused about which one of them is Mayor George Washington, and which memb

"We are going to get the Gulf of Venango," Mayor Blunders told the press as he hammered his fist. "OUCH!" were his final words before medical aid came for his broken hand. One year ago, Mayor Blunders of Oil City signed an executive order to have the Allegheny River changed to the Gulf of Venango. Unfortunately, Allegheny County holds the rights to the name. Blunders has imposed tariffs on Pittsburgh for more than a year with no payment received, primarily because we don't tr

With Venango County forces successfully eradicating the East Crawford military, the ongoing conflict is far from over. East Crawford has formed an alliance with Warren County and still has a hold on the industrial city of Marienville. Meanwhile, Mayor Dumbdumb of Titusville, capital of East Crawford County, says that he plans to raise more troops to invade Venango County in twice the numbers as the two he sent before. Unfortunately, everyone residing in East Crawford is over

Business owners witnessed the most unusual event to ever take place in downtown Franklin as Operation Free Liberty Street took hold. At about 8:30 a.m. Monday morning, soldiers moved in from every direction, surrounding the East Crawford troop who had laid siege to the city, armed with only spitball launchers and muffin hand grenades. The battle was a struggle for both the Allies and the Axis of Western Pennsylvania. The East Crawford military man, still unaware that his comr

It is an unbelievable turn of events thanks to a protest that seemed insignificant. When nine protesters showed up to the corner of Peach and Metz Street, they didn't expect anyone to take them seriously. That is, until one driver passing by had connections you would not expect. Fortunate for everyone in Iran, their signs changed his mind. "I have dealt with so much shame over this sudden war," says the man who has the power to end it. "It wasn't until I saw the sign that say