Titusville Mayor Vows He Will Return with More Forces

With Venango County forces successfully eradicating the East Crawford military, the ongoing conflict is far from over. East Crawford has formed an alliance with Warren County and still has a hold on the industrial city of Marienville. Meanwhile, Mayor Dumbdumb of Titusville, capital of East Crawford County, says that he plans to raise more troops to invade Venango County in twice the numbers as the two he sent before. Unfortunately, everyone residing in East Crawford is over 75 making them too old to serve.

President Mayor Blunders of Oil City, capital of the Venango States of America, has announced plans for a draft to help deter East Crawford's potential future invasions. Unfortunately, Mayor Blunders says that he is not an expert in knowing how to create a draft outside, given that unpredictable weather conditions can quickly change the air quality in ways that one can easily control indoors.

President Blunders tries to create draft outside using City Hall conditions

West Crawford has already withdrawn four of their six troops from Venango County, suspecting the possibility of an invasion to their eastern front. Mayor Dogfood of Marionville states that the war with East Crawford is one they do not take lightly, despite West Crawford not being the first target on Mayor Dumbdumb's list. The West Crawford military is researching upgrades to their weaponry, given that the Meow Mix they used in the recent conflict did not seem to cause any damage at the enemy lines.

Jefferson County played a minor role in the first chapter of this county war. Mayor Phil of Punxsutawney announced that he will be sending aid to Forest County for the hopeful liberation of Marienville. Several weeks ago, two troops from East Crawford marched into Marienville, setting up lawn chairs in the city center. Despite residents still having the ability to drive to and from work, they consider the military men an eyesore, destroying the quality of their less-than-forsaken community. Members of the Pennsylvania Land and Treaty Organization are discussing what contributions must be made to drive the enemy back into Warren.

As for Mayor Dumbdumb of Titusville, the loss of Venango County territory is a major blow to his reputation as president of East Crawford County. The Pennsylvania Land and Treaty Organization can be certain that this is not the end of the war between the counties. Mayor Blunders of Oil City announced today on the steps of the outhouse that western Pennsylvania must come together to help end this conflict for the good of the entire world, and even beyond, to the borders of western Pennsylvania.