A local ice boom is set to appear in court after months of pending charges for abandoning his post. The inanimate object known to Venango residents as Bob has pending charges for his decision to leave his comrades and go floating down the river. Experts are suggesting that Bob's negligence led to ice breakage that impacted all connecting waterways between Western Pennsylvania's most northern point and regions south of Pittsburgh. Bob denies the allegations to the events last

The self-declared president of Venango County has declared a state of emergency after observing a map from the National Weather Service. According to sources that we made up, the map scared the commander-in-chief when he thought the orange meant we were catching fire. “Global warming has gone too far!” Mayor Blunders said to the press. “We just finished prepping City Hall for winter, and now we have to fend off flames!” Earlier this year, Mayor Blunders burned down the old C

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Written by Indiana Jones. Edited by Jeremy Jetfuel.