The press has brought a lot of scrutiny to Mayor Blunders over his involvement in erecting a chicken coup octagon on the Outhouse front lawn. His greatest criticism is using county land to host a ruthless contest between flightless birds. Now, the CEO of the Kentucky Fighting Chickens is stepping in to the defense of Blunders. Blunders and Whitemeat dedicate chicken octagon to Venango States Anniversary "KFC is the safest pro fighting sport for animals trying to kill each oth

A parking meter malfunction has drastically impacted Venango County and its capital of Oil City, with a temporary police order preventing people from using the space. According to sources, the meter, located just outside of the Venango County Museum on Seneca Street, has disappeared completely, with what experts are saying is an intentional removal for maintenance. The sign became visible to the public at about 3 p.m. Thursday afternoon. Shortly thereafter, the Oil City stock

A report by the Beaver County Times states that the Steelers’ third-round draft pick is apparently a two-year hay-bale tossing champion. Gennings Dunker, who looks like he was birthed 50 years ago and came here in a time portal, competed in hay-bale tossing competitions for two consecutive years while attending the University of Iowa. We would tell you more, but the article requires a subscription after two paragraphs. We aren’t willing to pay. What we are willing to do is di

2026 Erie is falling behind in the box score of homicide victims when weighed against previous years. According to data analysts, the city hasn't scored once in the competition, forcing locals to look at the brighter side. When counting higher death tolls as a winning objective, 2025 Erie is up 2-0 in the first quarter. However, when observing the stats like a golf match, 2026 Erie looks more like the son of God. According to experts at Edinburgh University, one's perception

The Oil City Oil Spills have miraculously made it to Pittsburgh without getting lost. The first day of the NFL draft is over, and Coach Numbskull, as well as his team, are still sitting, waiting for their chance at a pick that will never come. Coach Numbskull still doesn't get the message that the NFL doesn't recognize his team. After an entire year of showing up to a cornfield every Sunday, the absence of opponents didn't seem to hint to Numbskull that his group is not in th

MERCER, PA — With the Northwestern Pennsylvania minor league baseball season just days away, the Mercer Misfires have officially begun preparations for what team officials are calling “a promising year,” despite several early complications during spring training. The Misfires reported to camp earlier this week, bringing with them a renewed sense of optimism and at least seven baseball gloves between the entire roster. Team manager Rick “Skip” Holler stated that while resource

The Penguins bid to host an outdoor hockey game was rejcted this year. With weather predictions not in favor of Pensylvania, the NHL elected to go with much colder climates like Miami to host the Winter Classic game. Despite being turned down, fans in Pittsburgh have not lost hope now that the Allegheny looks like Sidney Crosby's dryer if it were a pond.... That's the best joke we could come up with.... Fans are claiming that mother nature has given a sign that Pittsburgh was

The inconsistencies for each game in the 2026 season were “not the team’s fault,” according to Coach Numbskull. For this reason, he made it his goal to get the Oil Spills to the Superbowl at all costs. The team started a GoFundMe page but were quickly disappointed to learn that nobody contributed a cent. With the coffee can containing the city treasury still missing, and the residents unable to remember what currency looks like, the Oil Spills had no choice but to pick a dire

Are you kidding?????????

The world is waiting anxiously for the biggest annual event this side of isolation. With the 2026 Franklin On Ice event kicking off this Saturday, many are excited to watch chainsaws massacre chunks of frozen residue in an attempt to create majestic figures that probably won't last the weekend. What does this mean on an international level? Absolutely nothing! But we are still going to exaggerate, hoping it brings the boom days back! Experts fear once again that coverage of t

Oil City's disappointment concerning the NFL's negligence to invite them to the Super Bowl has left Coach Numbskull in disbelief. Week after week, the organization has met at the cornfield on the north side of town in Hassen Heights, preparing for every game. With a 0-0-0 record for the 2025-2026 season, Numbskull says that it isn't his fault no other team showed up to play his organization. "My boys have worked very hard this year," Coach Numbskull told the press. "If we can

The Clarion Clunkers roster has consisted of amateur talent over the last several years. With no championship in the teams history, the front office has made desperate moves to bring the franchise back to an MLB quality. After signing Nelson Dingbat last year, the pitching quality dropped significantly with every throw consistently dinging the other teams bat. Jethro Badly also struggled to out every baseman last season. Stats reveal that not a single pitch made it into the s

Several months of hard work, showing up to games, and ensuring player performance is at its best quality, has officially come to nothing as the Oil City Oil Spills learn that they will not be making the NFL playoffs this year. According to sources verified by the Venango County Liars Association, Oil City's professional football team completely forgot that they were rejected by the NFL for their bid to join the league. The news was such a shock to them that they've spent the

The NFL season kicked off this afternoon with Oil City falling to last in the standings. With the NFL failing to respond to the teams...

OIL CITY – The long-awaited NFL preseason opener for the Oil City Oil Spills kicked off last night at Derrick Stadium… or at least it was...

The Oil City Comebacks had a difficult year during the 2024-2025 NHL season. With a terrible record of 16 losing seasons, the team hoped...

The Oil City Oil Spills are a new team formed this year. With a 25 man roster, they have just enough participants to justify a ...

The Franklin Failures are once again shining in the spotlight after last nights game against the Oil City Success. The game kicked off as...

2025 marks the first year in Major League Basball history that an entire team will get denoted to the minors. The situation is not...

It seems to be a trend for the Oil City Success pitchers to stand in the most illogical places when pitching to the opposition. In the...