Failures Overcome Success: Franklin Takes First Seed

The Franklin Failures are once again shining in the spotlight after last nights game against the Oil City Success. The game kicked off as Oil City's first appearance since being denoted to the minors by the MLB, and then being denoted by the MLB minors to the less than minor minors because no one in the upper minors wanted them in their league.

Franklin kicked off the first inning batting all pitches out of the park. By the tenth hit, Oil City's outfielders stopped running and instead started applauding every time their pitcher got a new ball. The fans were quite restless after 20 minutes of sitting. One observer stood up demanding a mercy rule to be put in place for what he described as "Franklin's batting practice." The game was so one sided that the umpires started awarding Oil City points for remembering what dugout was theirs.

Once again, Oil City failed to extend the game beyond the first inning. Actually, they still haven't even scored a point in the history of their franchise. Their reputation is so bad, anylists don't keep track of wins. They keep track of who beats Oil City the fastest.

After a rough 30 minutes, the umpires called the final score. The Failures came away with the win 48 to negative 3. With the Failures now becoming the most accomplished team in Northwestern PA, many are wondering if they are on par to win their 11th consecutive championship. Franklin will attempt to keep their winning streak of 10 years alive when they face the Erie Lakepuppies Tuesday. As for Oil City, they will be facing the Clarion Clunkers tomorrow night. Tickets for both games may be purchased by visiting your city council and telling them we exist.