KFC CEO Defends Blunders Freedom 8 Piece Chicken Fight Event

The press has brought a lot of scrutiny to Mayor Blunders over his involvement in erecting a chicken coup octagon on the Outhouse front lawn. His greatest criticism is using county land to host a ruthless contest between flightless birds. Now, the CEO of the Kentucky Fighting Chickens is stepping in to the defense of Blunders.

Blunders and Whitemeat dedicate chicken octagon to Venango States Anniversary

"KFC is the safest pro fighting sport for animals trying to kill each other," states CEO Whitemeat. "We match fighters according to weight class. From featherweight to extra stuffed, every bird is paired with someone equal to where they fall in the pecking order."

Mr. Whitemeat has a long history with President Mayor Blunders. Last spring, when a spitball assassin rushed the county correspondence dinner at McDonald's, Mr. Whitemeat could be seen observing the entire room while everyone else was lying on the floor.

Venango County Secret Service Agents protect room with hand sanitizer

Mr. Whitemeat is not outside the realm of criticism. As one of the richest men in town, he is being ridiculed for investing 60 dollars into the chicken coup octagon, which Mayor Blunders suggests may stay.

"It is an honorary thing to have as a celebration of our first year-and-a-half anniversary," Mr. Whitemeat expressed to the press. "We are now an independent nation. And the Venango States of America deserves to splurge."

The fight takes place this Sunday during Chick-fil-A closure. Participants are expected to number by the tens. Food will be available with an 8-piece as the primary feature.