Pennsylvania Hero Defeats Flock Camera in Epic Showdown

He has chosen to remain anonymous. Nonetheless, the video he posted of himself going head to head with a Flock camera proves that the might of one individual can overcome the adversity of technological tyranny.

A man, who we will refer to as Actual Intelligence, had the genius idea to fight fire with fire. On a Friday morning, he thought to himself, “If a Flock cameras' primary form of oppression is filming people, why not film them in return?” Though short on time, he got into his vehicle and drove an hour and a half to face a Flock demon.

According to the man in the video, he was afraid for his life, noting that he had never seen a Flock camera before as a Venango County resident. The closest he had ever been to such a device was observing one of those gimmick cameras a person buys from Aldi's when they're trying to trick intruders into thinking they're being monitored. Fortunately, he had the wit to know what a lens typically looks like and was able to deduce the Flock camera's persona.

Moments after pulling into the parking lot at the mall in Kearsarge, a Flock camera swooped down, threatening to carry him away. We have chosen not to show the footage due to the violent nature of the moment in discussion.

The heroics of the Venango County resident proved to be valiant. He took out his camera and pointed it in the direction of the Flock demon. The Flock camera continued to swarm down at him, leaving a blood trail behind. Fortunately for our hero, it could not get past the barrier of the camera's projection and did everything possible to avoid being captured on a digital image.

The sight was both gruesome and beautiful. Almost as if the Lord of the Rings fight between Sam and that spider had come to life. You know, the one where Sam holds up that glass object that lights up when it's around an evil thing. This was pretty much the exact same dilemma, only with technology.

Eventually, our hero was able to overcome the Flock demon. He slayed it in the middle of the Millcreek Mall parking lot. Despite five broken ribs and a half-decapitated head, our hero managed to defeat the oppressor of the Erie natives.

Unfortunately, other cameras picked up the signal, swarming in shortly thereafter. Our hero is dead now, and requests that his statue not be built until the rest of the Flock cameras are also destroyed. Then we can celebrate his heroic moment that sparked a movement against the Flock cameras.

“I don't mind the fact that I died fighting the Flock camera,” states our hero from the now-viral video. “I just hope that other people are able to have the same level of courage that I humbly had when I drove an hour and a half to fight this digital monster.”

Our dead hero believes that defeating the Flock cameras will require a movement larger than our world has seen before. Either way, he says that he knows that achieving this objective is possible and will be accomplished because everyone has a camera on their phone capable of filming Flock cameras if the user has the courage to wield it.

A funeral for our hero is being held at the fictional Museum for Actual Intelligence. Tickets are selling for a hundred thousand apiece. Seating capacity is the entire population of the world. The goal is to sell out the building. Proceeds go to help the victim who died at the hands of a Flock camera.