Allegheny Military Abandons West Pittsburg; Township Too Big to Drag Home

Mayor Steelhead's campaign to steal West Pittsburg from Lawrence County ended in a withdrawal from the region. This came after Allegheny troops noted the impossible task of moving an entire town, along with its infrastructure, back to a separate region.

The technicality was first realized after the Knights of New Castle found their firework weapons useless against the steel skeletal structures of Allegheny soldiers, whose faces are literally steel beams. The Allegheny military realized there was no need to fight the Knights of New Castle and began attempting to drag the town back to Allegheny County. It didn't take long for them to realize there's no possible way to do that.

One of the first clues to the impossible nature of dragging an entire town to a county several miles away was the lack of ropes available to pull the region behind them. Additionally, Allegheny troops noted that the township looked way too heavy for such an endeavor to be brought to completion.

Mayor Steelhead states that he has not given up on his endeavor to gain West Pittsburg back from Lawrence County. Despite experts insisting that the difference in terrain is evidence that West Pittsburg was never part of Allegheny's Pittsburgh, Mayor Steelhead says that he still believes that Lawrence County stole his city's west side.

So far, the casualties of the war are zero. It also seems that by the end of the war, the casualties will also be zero, unless an Allegheny soldier musters up the will to smack an enemy soldier in the head with one of their steel beams.