Coach Numbskull Starts GoFundMe to Get Oil City to The Superbowl

Oil City's disappointment concerning the NFL's negligence to invite them to the Super Bowl has left Coach Numbskull in disbelief. Week after week, the organization has met at the cornfield on the north side of town in Hassen Heights, preparing for every game. With a 0-0-0 record for the 2025-2026 season, Numbskull says that it isn't his fault no other team showed up to play his organization.

"My boys have worked very hard this year," Coach Numbskull told the press. "If we can just collect the money, we're prepared to show up to the Super Bowl to play whatever team wants to try us."

Numbskull has started a GoFundMe page for local residents to support the trip to the Super Bowl. Unfortunately, Numbskull actually believes that the world only extends as far as the border of Clarion, meaning that he genuinely thinks the Super Bowl is taking place in Venango County.

As for the funds being raised, Numbskull so far only has one contribution. A man generously donated a Ring Pop that he's kept in his pocket since 2006. Other than that, the community, which truly wants to see the Oil City Oil Spills play in the Super Bowl, has not managed to find even a penny to donate to the cause. With currency being a rare item, Oil City officials state that the Oil Spills may have to wait another year after the city can figure out how to make money again.