Venango Sends Aide to Forest County: Aid Now Lost in National Forest

After successfully driving East Crawford from the region, Venango County has declared their intent to aid Forest in reclaiming the industrial city of Marienville. The city, which has been in the hands of East Crawford for the last two weeks, is getting sick of looking at the two soldiers resting in their town center.

"They've been sitting in their lawn chairs for days," states Mayor Mouthwash of Marienville. "Our military can do nothing because we don't have one."

Laurel and Hardy of the Venango County Military have been assigned to the northern border on Route 8 once again. Though they are responsible for allowing the last invasion due to sleeping on the job, the only alternative is 9-year-old Timmy, who Mayor Blunders wants to send to Forest County.

"Timmy saved the city of Franklin," Mayor Blunders told the press this morning before sending Timmy into Forest County. "We are confident that this soldier will find Marienville and drive East Crawford out."

Timmy is lost because we sent him without a map or means of communication. Sources say transporters took him as far as the edge of the Allegheny National Forest before dropping him off to walk the rest of the way. Though instructions were to drive all the way to Marienville, it isn't in the county budget to cover the gas.

With no means of navigation, experts say Timmy could potentially reach his destination, as long as he can figure out which direction is north and where Marienville falls on a compass. Assuming he guesses correctly, he could arrive in Marienville, as long as he doesn't die at the hands of coyotes in the woods.