Venango County President Threatens to Cut Off Pittsburgh Water Supply in Attempt to Gain the Gulf of Venango

The pressure is on for Mayor Steelhead of Pittsburgh, now that Mayor Blunders is threatening to use force in order to gain control of the Allegheny River. The bill proposed roughly a year ago sought to claim the rights to the Allegheny River in order to change its name to the Gulf of Venango. Unfortunately, those rights are still in the hands of Allegheny County, and Mayor Steelhead of Pittsburgh is refusing to sign over the name.

Last year, Mayor Blunders attempted several intimidation tactics to manipulate Pittsburgh. They all ended in failure.

First, he placed tariffs on Pittsburgh, which failed to work due to the lack of existing trade between each county. Afterward, he placed sanctions on Pittsburgh, which went nowhere for the fact that Mayor Blunders doesn't know what a sanction is. Finally, Mayor Blunders tried to cut off their water supply by building a dam across the Allegheny in Oil City. Instead of cutting off Pittsburgh's water supply, the river backed up and flooded Routsville, creating what Mayor Blunders declared to be Lake Weed.

Today, Mayor Blunders is trying something much different out of desperation to fulfill his dream of owning a river. Now that Mayor Steelhead knows of Venango County's existence due to Mayor Blunders' persistent phone calls, Blunders said he is going to continue to put the pressure on by reaching out to counties neighboring Pittsburgh in hopes of gaining support.

This morning, Mayor Blunders reached out to Mayor DamBuilder of Beaver County, requesting assistance in damming up the Allegheny River. Although the approach of collaboration seemed effective, Blunders did not consider the disadvantage of making this request to a county that stretches further beyond where the river flows through Pittsburgh.

Allegheny River marked by the color yellow. It's natural conversion to blue while passing through Pittsburgh's filtration system marked by blue.

Mayor DamBuilder of Aliquippa, capital of Beaver County, attempted to explain to Blunders that the river flowing through his region is the Ohio River, which begins in Pittsburgh before reaching Beaver County. Blunders then made a request to Mayor DamBuilder that he reverse the flow of the waters in order that his potential dam will have an impact on cutting off Pittsburgh's water supply. DamBuilder hung up the phone.

In response to Beaver County's aparent refusal, Mayor Blunders has signed an executive order to change the Ohio River's name to the Gulf of Venango. Blunders is working to figure out what an Ohio is and whether it has an association with a region of a similar name. If Blunders manages to find out that there is a significance to the name Ohio, he will request support from that ethnic group to put pressure on Beaver County. The support will be needed since Blunders doesn't have anything to threaten Beaver County with.