Oil City Drug Lords Forced to Lay Off Half Their Workforce After Failed Drug Tests

Oil City's biggest source of cash inflow is facing greater challenges than they ever have experienced in the past. According to sources, the drug lords of Oil City are being forced to lay off more than 50% of their employment due to the rising problem of staff failing to pass drug tests.

"We are sincerely taking the greatest hit our industry has ever experienced in Venango County," states the drug lord. "We tell our employees not to use the product before they come into work because drugs are a very serious thing."

Several staff members have already been reported to the local police for questioning. The use of drugs is something that the drug lords are strictly against, and do not advocate for their employees.

"Drugs are illegal, and we sincerely wish that the police would do more to uphold the law. We can't afford to have our employees continuing to do this while we're trying to produce our product," states another drug lord.

The CEOs of the major drug industry providers state that they have great relationships with the political leaders of our county. However, despite the relationships being strong, they still feel that their donations to the political leaders are going to waste if the political leaders are not doing enough to end the drug problem.

"I like to believe that our political leaders and police are trying their hardest to end the drug problem," states the kingfish. "However, this problem is becoming bigger than we have ever imagined. I just can't hire people who are high on cocaine when I'm trying to produce enough of that stuff to ship out to my own customers."

With Venango County's biggest job provider now being forced to lay off workers, much of the county is falling into poverty once again. Despite the fact that the employees who earned money through this industry wasted it on drugs anyway, now they have no money for even the bare essentials to get by. Experts are fearful that the industry itself may collapse and become another small-town business comparable to the craft vendors who can only keep a shop open in the Cranberry Mall for less than a week. The difference, however, is that people will actually shop at the drugstore.