Forest County To Open Center For Chronically Bored People

The commissioner of Forest County has just announced plans to open an event center for chronically bored people. This is the first in a series of only one center which promises obsolutely no improvement to the county.

The site will feature various activities where visitors will do absolutely nothing. The main attraction will be a lobby of eternal waiting where visitors will sit down and go absolutely nowhere.

Secondly, visitors can participate in an escape room with no exits whatsoever. Participants will wonder how they got in the room just like they are wondering how they wound up in Forest County.

As a final attraction to the facility, visitors may also visit the Museum of Lacking Businesses. Here visitors can see the major businesses they wish they could conveniently drive to such as the grocery store, gas station, and the emergency room.

While visitors are enjoying their boredom inside the facility, they are given the unique experience of knowing what it is like to live in Marienville, an isolated town in Forest County. Juvenile delinquents from the Abraxas placement facility are instructed to make off with the customers cars which is something that happens a lot in Marienville thanks to Abraxas escapees. Don't believe us? Just ask the residents of Marienville.....

Weekly events consist of an open mic night where the only guitar player in town plays for no one. Locals can also attend the Saturday morning sigh circle for deeper community bonding.

Want the dating experience? Tinder doesn't exist because they still use rotary phones and a switchboard operator. You'll have to just hope and pray someone in your town falls in your age range.