Exclusive Interview With the Beefcake Who Saved the Voodoo Bar and Grill: “My Life Is Changed Forever”

A humble Erie resident has gained citywide fame after a mishap that took place last Saturday. A man who from now on will forever be known as Beefcake prevented a disastrous situation when he pulled an intoxicated man away from the stage at the Voodoo Bar and Grill on State Street.

Overnight, the man became an Erie legend due to his muscular upper torso and fearless, heroic demeanor. After our article hit the internet, the man who we refer to as Beefcake texted our CEO to say that his life is changed forever. He will never be able to go back to his original name, Jeff.

Our founder and CEO, Blobbert Blobfish, was able to score an exclusive interview with the said Beefcake, who from now on has been entrusted to protect Erie's bars from all intoxicated drunks trying to score a date with the singer.

“There is a part of me that knows that dragging him out with my right arm was the ethical way to handle the situation,” states the Beefcake. “Had I used both arms, I could have crushed him to death, or at the very least disabled him for life.”

The giant Beefcake, who saved the Voodoo Bar from its opposing intoxicated drunk, says that he can't catch a break, as everyone wants his autograph, specially signed as Beefcake.

“Even my wife of nobility keeps asking me to crush walnuts between my antecubital fossa,” the Beefcake explains. “I know she's just trying to get me to flex my muscles.”

For medical advice, please consult a professional.

At this point, Blobbert Blobfish signaled summer intern Bigfoot to bring in a surprise guest for the Beefcake.

“You are a donkey pit,” the Beefcake told our CEO, only with terminology far more inappropriate than the phrase “donkey pit.”

The drunk, who rushed the stage, entered the room, approaching the Beefcake with a confused yet highly intoxicated stare.

“You didn't know about this?” Natural Intoxication asked the Beefcake. “He said that everything was cool.”

“This is what he does,” the Beefcake told Natural Intoxication as he rolled his eyes at our CEO, Blobbert Blobfish. “Let's get it over with.”

“I thought it would be a good surprise,” Blobbert told the Beefcake.

Natural Intoxication sat awkwardly next to his foe with a dumbfounded look. The Beefcake refused to take his eyes off his enemy, flexing his muscles as a warning of his superior physique.

“I came here specifically to talk about the aftermath of the situation,” the Beefcake expressed to Blobbert Blobfish. “Did you ever think that the fact that I never told that story, that, you know, maybe you shouldn't?”

At this moment, Blobbert Blobfish stood up from his chair and walked toward the exit, confessing to the group, “I thought it would be fun. Enjoy working out your differences.”

Meanwhile, to help lighten the mood, Bigfoot stayed behind to play a gentle, heartwarming number on his bagpipes.

It's been ten hours, and neither individual has said a word. Our winter intern, Ye Ti, has been monitoring the door to the studio and says that the intoxicated man has rushed Bigfoot six times before being dragged back to his seat by the Beefcake. We will keep you informed as their relationship develops.