Erie Horse Gives Up Dream of Being Seawolf After Near Death Experience
A horse in Erie, Pennsylvania says that it no longer has ambitions of becoming a seawolf after nearly drowning in Edinboro Lake.
According to sources, Ernie Minus Bert of Edinboro Township escaped his home Monday with aspirations to become a “wolf of the sea.” He later discovered that his bodily makeup makes his aspirations nearly impossible.
“Everyone has asked me, ‘why not a seahorse?’” Ernie told the press after nearly drowning. “I guess with Seawolves being native to Lake Erie, I thought I would be more proud in becoming one of them.”
Ernie’s near-drowning experience came after escaping his stable late Monday evening. With plans to initially go to Lake Erie, Ernie decided he needed to first lay low in a more localized body of water.
“I figured that the seawolves of Edinboro would take me in until police stopped looking for me,” Ernie expressed as he shivered in his hospital bed.
Ernie did everything he could to get beneath the ice frozen on the lake. What he thought would be a pleasant transition to a world of underwater fun quickly became a fight for survival once he realized he doesn’t have gills.
Emergency personnel conveniently showed up just in time to save him. Ernie’s landlords heard Ernie expressing a desire for living underwater. When they realized he was past his curfew, they knew exactly where to look.
“We’ve tried to tell Ernie that he doesn’t have the anatomy to be a seawolf,” state Ernie’s landlords. “I guess sometimes people need to find out hard truths on their own.”
Ernie plans to continue living at his home in Edinboro once he leaves the hospital. With bed and breakfast at the cost of working on the farm, Ernie states that staying at the stables will keep him out of trouble while he figures out what to do with his future.
“I am considering going to medical school to learn how to be a horse doctor,” says Ernie. “If not, there is always a need for horse jockeys at the club.”
Whatever the outcome, friends of Ernie can rest assured that he will stay far away from the lakeside.
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