Will Erie's Former Elections Chair Be Replaced by A Real Chair

We have just been informed by the Erie Eardrum that Erie’s Elections Chair has been voted out of his position. According to unreliable sources, residents of the city found him too uncomfortable to sit on when trying to place their vote.

“I don’t know why we restrict ourselves to one chair,” states Mabel Mouthwash of Erie. “I’m also confused as to why we chose to sit on some random man we elected instead of a normal chair.”

The practice has been one of Erie’s weirdest protocols for voting during primary and midterm elections. Every resident must line up, sit on this weird guy’s lap, and cast a vote for whoever they want in office. Depending on how comfortable he is, they may also elect to sit on him during the next term as well.

“I think voting him out was the right choice,” says Gerald Gumdispensor. “This chair can’t even give a massage. I’m content with going back to the metal folding ones.”

Outsiders are incredibly confused as to how Erie wound up with a human being acting as their Election Chair. It even seems as if nobody in Erie knows either. Regardless, the chair is out, and now they have nothing to sit on until the next election cycle. By then, hopefully Erie will be voting on having real chairs serve as the sitting place for voters. There is a wide selection of candidates waiting....

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