Venango County Celebrates Independance from Brittish Rule Despite Seceding from the US

A whopping 98 percent of Venango County residents showed up to watch Mayor Blunders address his newly founded nation. With 56 people total, Venango County Secret Service agents were on high alert hours before the speech.

Blunders came to the stage as the crowd roared with excitement. It has been several months since Venango County elected to break off to form the Venango States of America, and despite Washington D.C. having no knowledge of the secession (primarily because they don’t know we exist), Blunders still spoke as if our “nation” came through major sacrifice.

“Our declaration to be an independent nation surely provoked the king of England,” stated Mayor Blunders, who accidentally gave his speech facing away from the crowd. “Wars were fought…” they weren’t… “Blood was spilled…” it wasn’t… “But Venango fought for liberty and overcame the odds…” we didn’t…

The crowd roared with excitement chanting the abbreviation of Blunders’ self-declared country. “V-S-A! V-S-A!” Oddly, most of them don’t even know what it stands for.

Children were permitted to skip school to attend the event. Though concern was raised about them falling behind, school faculty was not bothered considering nobody else in the county has progressed beyond the third grade anyway.

With the excitement rising, a new flag has been revealed which literally steals its concept from the United States. The only difference being the caption “Venango States of America.”

As for the 20 townships making up Venango County, Mayor Blunders has now declared them independent states and argues that they all have their own governors. They technically are just mayors of tiny towns. But let’s just allow Mr. Blunders to live his fantasy.

The nation is set in stone and likely will not expand any further. Although Mayor Blunders has expressed a desire to pioneer west, he probably will not get the chance since he can’t afford gas for his car.