Tax Proposal Divides Venango County

A resident on Main Street in Seneca places signs outside their home advocating for the library tax. A few doors down, on the opposite side of the road, what once was a friend, now an enemy, who places signs oppositional to being taxed for the library. What local politicians could not anticipate was an all-out divide between brothers in the great nation of Venango County.

President Mayor Blunders ponders what to do to ensure that the nation is not split over the proposed tax locals have to vote on in less than a month. As he sits on his throne in the city hall, which also acts as a city outhouse, protesters stand on both sides of the building holding up signs objecting to and in support of the proposed tax code.

Meanwhile, the southern townships are forming a militia of three men trying to arm themselves with as many Nerf guns as they can afford. So far, they have none. Mayor Blunders already has an army of three men serving the Venango States of America and is considering a deployment to the southern townships to crush the rebellion before they declare their independence as the Illiterate States of America.

Meanwhile, in the North, residents are also divided over whether or not the southern townships should be allowed their freedom. The southern townships advocate for the ownership of books, whereas the northern portion of the county states that books should be free and obtainable in a state-funded location. Many are fearful that the war between the townships may cause the newly founded nation of the Venango States of America to crumble just seven months into its existence.

The debate is one that experts have not picked a side on because the pros and cons are consistent across the board. In one sense, the existence of technology has caused many to argue that libraries should become extinct. In addition, 85% of the county doesn’t know how to read anyway, making the existence of the library questionable. On the same token, many have also argued that the library offers accommodations for children to play, which is useful in the wintertime when cold weather makes it inconvenient for your kid to be sticking his tongue to the monkey bars at the local park.

Until Venango County raises enough money to install their own SkyZone, the controversy of the library’s existence will lean towards the building remaining. In the meantime, Southern townships have requested General Rubber E. Pee, along with his assistant General Foam Wall Jackson, to lead Southern forces as they attempt to declare their independence of library taxes. President Mayor Blunders has appointed General Can’t to lead the three troops of Venango County’s military into the southern townships in the hopes that all library books will one day be free.