Pittsburgh Mayor Meets with Oil City Mayor to Negotiate Gulf of Venango

"The deal has no chance..." Mayor Steelhead told the press this morning after his brief interaction with the Mayor of Oil City. "I really just did this because he seems fragile and could use a false sense of power."

After the meeting, Mayor Blunders left McDonald's with a giant smile, as if convinced he had a chance to change the name of the Allegheny River. According to Mayor Steelhead, he "found it amusing to lead him on."

With this being Mayor Blunders' proposal, many were confused as to why the Pittsburgh mayor drove to Venango County rather than forcing Mayor Blunders to commute to Pittsburgh. According to Steelhead, Mayor Blunders doesn't have money for gas. Additionally, he hoped that by making the drive, Blunders would stop calling his secretary.

"A drive to Venango County is chump change for me," Mayor Steelhead stated. "As much as I hate driving through it, I have to admit that it acts as a good reminder that we have it good in Pittsburgh. Even if our sports teams are failing."

The deal is expected to continue pending until Mayor Blunders presses the issue again. Little does Steelhead know that Blunders will press the issue again tomorrow morning. At that point, Steelhead will have wished he continued living as if Blunders didn't exist.