PA Approves Grant to Replace Light on Ugly Bridge

A sense of hope was crushed instantly today when the Pensylvania Governor approved a grant that would put Oil City back into the dark ages. Residents were initially optimistic that a light burned out on the Main Street bridge would help the town save an extra 25 cents each month on electricity. Unfortunately, Mayor Blunders wrote the Governor requesting funds to replace the bulb.

"We were so hopeful we could start running our washing machine again at least once a year" states Mrs. Welfare "Our electricity has been out for years due to the bridge lights sucking all the energy out of the city."

Mayor Blunders did not hesitate to crush that optimism insisting that replacing the bulb would "increase terrorism by two-hundred percent....." No, that was not a typo. And yes, he did think he was saying tourism.

With the lights running every day, and the city without electricity to sustain their homes, one could say that the town's joy has been dimmed to match the bulbs wattage. One could say that the light going out was the darkest hope Oil City has seen in years. Unfortunately, the rusty sunshine bridge will once again light up the towns day with extra gloom once again.