Oil City Unveils Giant Empty Hole Where Hope Used to Be

In a bold new tourism initiative, the city of Oil City has announced the grand opening of its latest attraction: “The Big Dry Hole,” a massive pit where oil once flowed — and where all economic promise now quietly decomposes.

Mayor Blunders of Oil City is hopeful that the new attraction will draw tourists to the county in droves. With the population less than half of what it was 20 years ago, Blunders believes this hole is the key to bringing people back.

"It's just like the Grand Canyon" says Mayor Blunders who thinks the Grand Canyon refers to the Cranberry Mall potholes, "the only difference between the two is it’s smaller, sadder, and full of broken dreams instead of tourists."

Mayor Blunders has bet the Mayor of Titusville 50 dollars that this hole will increase tourism inevitably. Unfortunately, Blunders doesn't have such money because he still hasn't found the coffee can he keeps the city treasury inside. Two years later and that Maxwell House tin is still nowhere to be found.

When asked if there was any plan beyond the pit to help revive the economy, Mayor Blunders offered a hopeful shrug and added, “If this doesn’t work, we’re opening a haunted corn maze made out of unpaid student loans.”

The ribbon-cutting ceremony is scheduled for next Friday, assuming they can find scissors that haven’t been pawned.