Oil City Success Lose to Pittsburgh Pirates 41-0, Celebrate Thinking They Won

The Oil City Success took on the Pittsburgh Pirates this weekend and delivered a performance that left fans speechless—and not in a good way.

With a roster that spans preschoolers to retirees and includes at least one player who thought “shortstop” was a break in the game, the Success never quite grasped the concept of baseball. Their pitcher refused to throw the ball because he “didn’t like the way it was looking at him,” while the catcher wore his glove on his foot “just in case.”

Oil City pitcher standing where he shouldn't be.... What the hell is he looking at?

Coach Jerry “Don’t Call Me Coach” McFlannel, who spent most of the game arguing with a Gatorade cooler, remained confident. “We had ‘em right where we wanted ‘em,” he said, pointing at the Pirates' dugout. “Confused.”

Despite losing 41–0, the team clapped, high-fived, and posed for photos with a scoreboard that had been unplugged by the third inning.

With an 0–17 record and no clear understanding of how baseball works, the Success are heading into next week’s game with the same energy: loud, proud, and completely unprepared.