Oil City Applies for State Grant to Paint Fake Sidewalks Where Sidewalks Should Be

It has been three years since Mayor Blunders lost the coffee can containing the city treasury. In that time, city officials have struggled to maintain the status of a thrid world city. Time is running out for solutions meaning that the city needs to come up with ideas if they are going to avoid becoming fourth world. In the meantime, the biggest problem facing the city is the lack of funding for civic improvements. In comes Mayor Blunders, the man we cannot depend on to come up with good solutions.

With the city sidewalks crumbling as vegetation grows through them. Mayor Blunders has proposed replacing them with painted examples to walk on. That's it.....

Mayor Blunders has a history of coming up with stupid solutions. For instance, he was the one who suggested merging City Hall with the City Outhouse to help cut down on electric costs. He also was the one who suggested putting expensive lights on the Northside Bridge to help suck the energy out of the city. There really is no good idea coming from this man's head. Nonetheless, we keep him around because no one else wants to run.

The issue with fake painted sidewalks is that paint is not permanant. When you walk on it, it will come up and have to be replaced. If you don't walk on it, the weather will destroy the paint and it will have to be replaced.

Another problem is that people will become super muddy while walking on these sidewalks. Most of the residents on the Northside walk around barefoot because they cannot afford shoes. The sidewalks were the one thing ensuring they did not track mud into their houses because they can't afford welcom mats.

Mayor Blunders has come up with one solution. "We can install new sidewalks before painting fake ones....." You try to figure that one out. We'll just end the article here.