Millcreek Supervisors Discover That Decades of Flooding Might Be Due to Water

It's an ongoing debate year after year. In a small corner outside of Erie's largest hub, Millcreek supervisors have traditionally gathered before a town of disgruntled homeowners. Even before residents knew their political authorities do nothing productive, officials have been diligent in acting concerned where a century old problem never finds a solution.

Each resident waits in anticipation for someone with the will to put in a drain. Unfortunately, years of meetings to discuss "upcoming projects" now have the residents themselves drained. Whoever shows up to the meetings only does it to say they belong to the town.

The scientific principle of water moving downward is not exactly Einstein curriculum. Nonetheless, no one with political standing in Millcreek seems to understand that puddles decrease in size when they have somewhere to flow. We fact-checked this earlier by pouring water down our kitchen sink.

You can blame our intern, Bigfoot, for getting them in the wrong order.

How long has this discussion been going on between township supervisors and the people electing them to do a job? We found an article going as far back as 2013. In this case, the township graciously tried to take ownership of someone's property to install drainage. That's so much more productive than just requiring an installation on the condition that the owner retain his land. Oh! And it cost the taxpayers $3.4 million in township money after they successfully got sued. This is probably why the townships relationship with locals is a bit shaky.

How does this compare to the ancestors who more than a hundred years ago addressed the problem proactively? According to Mr. Historical Documentation, chief of staff at the Document History Organization on Planet Earth, the Millcreek authorities of the 1920s installed a giant pipe more than two miles long, measuring roughly 22 feet wide and 18 feet tall. For those who can't do math, that's large enough for a pickup truck to drive through. You're probably safe to try, since the water prefers the Millcreek residents' basements anyway.

Count your blessings. Food that hasn’t hit the water is still edible.

Despite the fact that Millcreek's ancestors accomplished a two-mile-long drainage system, the modern supervisors don't seem concerned that they are a disappointment to their forefathers. Considering their ancestors are dead, there's not really a reason to live up to the former generational achievements. It's called Millcreek Township, not Township Next to Millcreek. The locals need to be washed out to live up to the name.

Here’s the biggest irony; A neighboring city managed to secure millions of dollars for urban development. We've already ripped into their affordable house project, a project to create 250 homes that won't be affordable in 5 years. The fact they secured 4 million for the city of Erie raises the question why Millcreek cannot do something similar.

Millcreek cannot seem to secure enough funding to route the unwanted water away from non-preferred areas. Does anybody in Millcreek know how to write a grant? Do you understand that Millcreek does not mean that your entire township has to be a creek? You can live on land if you want. Humans technically weren't meant to sleep underwater. Test it! You'll see why!

A report last year on GoErie states that Millcreek has a yearly budget of $34 million, which is much more than we thought you people of Millcreek were worth as a whole... The more you know....

The report also mentions that a tax increase was being implemented to help fund fire safety services. This isn't to suggest fire services need an increase in funding. The Millcreek firefighters could technically just remove their helmets and scoop the water from residents' yards.

There's a bright side to having a yard that looks like a Cambodia village!

Another choice of spending was a brand-new community building where people can come together and vent about how much they hate their political leaders. The Shrine Club, formerly known as the Shrine Club, is now under the proud ownership of Millcreek Township for the cheap price of $3.6 million. It's a 15-year loan and is exactly $3.6 million more than what was requested to help resolve the flooding issues.

Given that we found an article dating back to 2013 involving the motive of taking private property away from its owner to install a pipe, it's safe to state that city officials' gathering with updates on upcoming projects are probably just to gaslight you dumb residents. A gathering slightly more than a year ago was covered by YourErie and written in such a way as to suggest that the officials saw this as a major priority. Additionally, the Shrine Club is also mentioned as if it's susceptibility to flooding is a concern for the town, who probably see it's potential destruction as the perfect middle finger to their supervisors.

The same news organization wrote an article a half year later in which a woman frustratingly expressed 30 years of her yards garden being washed out.

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me 32 years.... WHY THE HELL DID YOU STAY!

Joyce, insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result.... That's not true.... The dictionary actually defines it differently... But Alcoholics Anonymous would still likely suggest that it is. Furthermore, you have a non-drunken problem. You need to get help! There has to be a Gardenholics Anonymous somewhere!

By the way, the city is cited in that same article as trying to blame you dumb residents for not calling your dispatch.

"911, what is your emergency?" "My yard is flooded... Not the house or driveway.... We can still go places..."

It's not like a township consisting of 53,000 residents could have a handful of locals who have tried this before. You idiots keep complaining to the township supervisors elected to supervise your town. You should have been calling a lower tier dispatch who has less influence than your politicians... Morons!

The residents of Harper Drive clearly explain that the creek, a work of Mother Nature unconnected to man-made water passageways, tends to flood exponentially every time it rains. The township's defense?????

Did anyone smell poop when it rained?

Nobody said anything about the sewage. We said that a natural waterway called a creek overflows into residents' yards. It probably has consistently done this since before your sewage plant was created. I know years of gaslighting the public at township meetings probably makes you a lousy listener. But can you at least try to sound on topic when talking to a reporter?

Yes, we want to believe that city supervisors care for their local community. It's just a little hard when 30 years of Joyce's petunias being murdered by Mother Nature doesn't seem to get the message across. This is America. We figured out how to elevate water above miles of mountain ranges in order to create what is now known as the Panama Canal. If modern ingenuity can figure out how to create floods, it's hard not to wonder why, in 2026, we don't know how to prevent them. This is coming from a scientific genius who understands the principle that water flows downward.

Oh! And as for your spending, we would love for you to stop pretending the town is overjoyed about a community center that could have been purchased in a cheaper building. Even the media doesn't seem to get it. Halfway down the last article about residents yards being destroyed, we crossed over this hyperlink...

If I cussed, this would get the fattest "F" word ever to hit the internet! Unfortunately for the residents of Millcreek, my homeschool brain won't let me....