Mayor Signs Order for Wall at the Border of Venango, Increased Security

Venango County has been a proud independent nation since Mayor Blunders elected to secede from the United States four months ago. Residents have celebrated their independence in various ways to reflect the pride of their tenth-world country.

Despite the pride of the newly formed Venango States of America, Mayor Blunders has expressed concern over the open borders between Butler and Venango County. At a rally in downtown Oil City, the Mayor, and self-declared president, promised his following that he will secure the border with increased security and a new 30-foot wall.

"Every day, millions of undocumented visitors cross into our nation illegally," said Mayor Blunders. "We are going to prevent those Butler natives from bringing their crime, sweet’n low packets, and whatever else comes from Butler." We have no idea what Mayor Blunders is talking about. Butler has less than two hundred thousand residents, and none of them want to come here.

"I am not being racist," says Mayor Blunders. "I love Mexican food. But anyone coming from Butler into our country needs to do it legally." We also don't understand the odd reference to Mexican food.

Construction of the wall on the southern border is scheduled to start next week. No building materials will be available because Venango County cannot afford it. The only worker the county could afford to hire will literally just be standing there with nothing to do.