Mayor Blunders Under Fire After Classified Information is Found in His Mattress

Mayor Blunders is facing backlash after investigations have revealed he has been keeping Venango County's top secret documents on nuclear codes in his matress. In a press briefing today, Blunders defended himself stating that the nuclear codes have been "declasified" as of the moment he realized he was in trouble. The boxes containing documents labeled "TOP SECRET - CODE SPLOOSH," outlined the city's alleged plan to build a spitball-based deterrent system to rival Titusvilled water ballon reserves.

According to sources, the documents being suddenly "declassified" by Blunders spoken word gives the Mayor an immunity.

"Had be just kept his mouth shut, we would be able to prosecute him" states Jake Horking Kake, the county's biggest joke of an attorney "I appreciate Blunders stupidity as it mimics my own. However, I am getting paid a lot to hate him, so I am choosing to speak evil of him till this case is over."

With Blunders suddenly declassifying top secret information on Venango County's arsenal, the Venango Republic was able to justify tracking down the weaponry and taking a look into the box labeled "Not Spitballs" which was being kept in a dumbster behind the YMCA. There were in fact spitballs inside.

The Squareagon, Venango County's square shaped version of the Pentagon, has not commented on the situation. They believe their existence is absolutely ridiculous.