Mayor Blunders Announces New Ball Room for City Hall

The talk of the town is Mayor Blunders recent announcement for a ballroom expanding the east side of City Hall, which also shares places with the City Outhouse. The glorious nature of this project promises an elegant atmosphere by Oil City standards. With a low grade leaky ceiling and a floor almost eaten up by termites, this truly will be a demonstration of the Northside pride.

In an interview with Mayor Blunders, I was able to find out secret details behind the ballroom never before mentioned. While it was difficult fitting inside the outhouse, I managed to get a two hour exclusive interview with Mayor Blunders that I completely regret. Exiting the outhouse was the greatest feeling for my lungs, but the interview was necessary for ensuring the most accurate coverage of this stupid idea. Here is what City Hall will feature in it's new ball room.

A Shard of Disco Glass

Given the size of the room, the Mayor Could only justify a single shard of glass to hang from the ceiling. Visitors are encouraged not to jump since the roof is only 5 feet from the ground.

A Vape Pen for Fog Effect

Obviously, a real fog machine would put Oil City into insurmountable debt for several decades. Mayor Blunders managed to steal a vape from some girls purse outside of Country Fair. This will act as the fog machine so long as she doesn't come to steal it back.

DJ Booth Featuring an Ipod Shuffle

Once again, limited space with outdated tech the city can afford. This Ipod was donated.

Social Distancing Section

It takes up the entire space, but is necessary to appease Giant Eagles logic of dealing with disease.

A Square of Linoleum for the Dance Floor

The Mayor splurged on this one.

Juice Boxes

This makes up for the punch bowl.

Commemorative Plaque

He litterally scraped this off his own teeth.

Lighting

We're just stealing a bulb from the bridge lights since no tourists are coming to see it anyway.