Iconic Mountain to Get New Faces Under Blunders Order

Mayor Blunders, who has served Oil City since the days of the industry collapse, has just signed an executive order to carve faces into the edge of the Northside mountain. With the city recently taking out a 25 dollar loan from the neighboring city of Franklin, experts predict the recent order could set the city back by thousands of years. The city currently is in the red because of their debt to Franklin and is unlikely to have the funds to accomplish this task.

Blunders, (a word which connotes every actual mayor since the 90s) has a history of bad financial decisions that often result in failed attempts to draw tourists. In the recent proposal blunders suggested naming the hill Mount Flushmore in honor of the City Outhouse which acts as the City Hall. Blunders believes carving the faces of former mayors into the hills edge will create public pride for the history of the community.

Courtesy of Mount Flushmore

Experts have warned the Mayor that the hill is too unstable for carving faces. Not only will this require millions of taxpayer dollars, but the faces will likely fall off after the first rain fall. The Mayor argues that instant tourism will more than cover the cost of the project and that the faces crumbling away are a perfect symbolic representation of the Cities past investments.

This is not the first radical decision that the Mayor has made in his tenure. Last week, blunders tried to secede from the Union to form the Venango States of America. He also built a dam to stop the Allegheny water flow to cut off Pittsburghs water supply and instead flooded Rouseville. As of yesterday, he accidentally ordered too much lomein and drove the county debt up to 35 trillion. Despite these poor decisions, Mayor Blunders is still signing executive orders putting us on the verge of becoming a third world county.

Blunders insists that the faces must be carved into the mountain immediately. He has written the Governor of Pennsylvania requesting 400 million to begin the project. It is unclear whether the Governor will approve the proposal. Blunders states that if funds are not granted, he will place tarrifs on the state capital.