Erie School Board Pretends Tucked-In Shirts Will Make Kids Nicer

The Erie School Board has officially announced their intent to limit student individuality by claiming they are not trying to limit student individuality. According to reliable sources across the media, board members in the Erie School District haven't learned lessons from the way they reacted when the generation preceding them tried imposing subjective standards for them to live by.

"We decided it was best to make children do what we hated adults doing to us." States Iaman Ageist of the Erie School Board. "I am not ageist. I just happen to know that my generation had it right."

Whether or not professional dress codes are strictly subjective is still a matter of dispute. We consulted several generations to understand their perspective, but even the earliest we could go back insisted theirs was more acceptable than everyone else.

Even our great great great great grandparents are struggling to get through

Despite coming from a line of generations that consistently tried to break away from a parent's generational outlook on coolness, the school board of Erie has fallen under the same idiocy. One woman, who we will refer to as Carbon Dateline, suggested to several news outlets that dressing professional as a child will ensure you "look professional as an adult." Which begs the question... What if they grow up to join a nudist colony?

This is the problem with human nature. Every kid grows up having to distinguish the difference between adult standards meant to make a child a productive member of society and subjective opinions that rob a child of their ability to express oneself. Kids also will have to earn a living one day. Are you going to vote to stop feeding them?

It's not long before kids completely forget what hell the older generation put them through, and they wind up doing the same to the generation that follows them. It's a classic case of, "I used to be a metalhead, and now I work for the Erie School Board."

The argument being used by the Erie School Board is that dressing formally will allow the kids to have more positive interactions. Kind of like the guys who used to knock each other off....

Professionalism = positive influences

Yes, it is certainly a good thing to raise our children to believe that professional attire erases their sins. It also makes perfect sense to require children to dress in formal ways that restrict their individuality to shoelaces and tiny bracelets on their arms.

They're AC/DC. Don't tell the principal.

That's so much better than encouraging them to wear shirts promoting love and acceptance.

"That will be enough of your generosity"

Let's also not forget the untested claim by the Erie School Board that dressing formally creates positive interactions.

Just be grateful you all get to look alike.... That was a reference to the dress code you freaking racists!

Oh yes, I went there, because whether you feel comfortable with the idea or not, robbing children of their individuality can certainly provoke them to deeper forms of depression. Consequently, when horrible things happen such as death, the underlying issues go unresolved because the older generation keeps making it about the surface observations.... Let's talk about Columbine, shall we?

Following Columbine, trench coats were banned from schools, and anyone who dressed in all black could have been immediately suspended even if their mental stability surpassed the wisdom of the Erie school board. Despite the horrific event being performed by only two pricks, a bunch of older pricks allowed subjective stupidity to rule their outlook on dealing with a deeper issue.

The school, being the morons they were, had to villainize everyone who expressed themselves in a unique way. Now I ask you, did dressing up in trench coats have anything to do with why those two pricks committed that horrible crime? Actually, no, because prior to that, the school did not prevent them from wearing trench coats. So it's probably safe to assume they weren't acting in rebellion towards the inability to wear a trench coat. We deduced this by the fact that they were allowed to wear the trench coats.

Anyone who has studied that story thoroughly knows that Harris and Klebold were not only bullied, but consistently bullied others with teachers who did nothing to intervene. After Columbine, you bet they intervened, by taking expression of identity away and villainizing people for outward appearances. It wasn't just the school, but adults who also jumped to wild conclusions about trench coats and black clothing being the cause of shooter tendencies.

He forgot to mention his partially stained Fruit of the Looms. That's exactly why he hasn't turned to drugs.

A study at Ohio State consisting of 6,000 subjects found that uniforms brought a sense of lower belonging because of the students inability to have freedom of expression. What was that about positive interactions?

"Our policy on advertising restrictions allows local businesses the freedom to advertise on toothbrush bristles instead of billboards."

You know that making blatant statements and assuming they are true is a logical fallacy right?

Now, let's talk, you old farts sitting comfortably close to retirement. I want to know how a board of people arguably raised in rebel generations ranging from the 80s to the late 2000s could have unanimously voted to put a stupid rule on children that would have lost your respect when you were children. It's ok. I did research, unlike you...

There's nothing that boosts a kid's self-esteem more than knowing that the adults support their interests. If you want to be guilty of pretending that's not productive, you can keep gaslighting the public with the age-old notion that formality makes you better than other people. The only difference is that faking stupidity doesn't erase the reality that you are robbing children of a much more productive means of expression.

Lets face it. You board members are probably getting up there in years. I saw a video of one lady in your group and there's no doubt that by the time these kids are out of school, she'll probably be dead. Your idea of professionalism will not apply when these kids are old enough to learn how to rob a bank. So how about you all agree to come together, sit down in your state-funded office chairs, and actually ask what promotes the best interest of these kids. Just make sure to keep your generational imposition out of it.