Erie Officials Announce Minor 12 Million Dollar Setback

The city of Erie is facing what many are describing as a counterproductive way for a city to run if it wants to continue being called a city. According to sources at the Erie Bad News, the city is in crisis now that a long foreseen outcome has reached an inevitable crossroad.

While it would be easy to rip on the current leadership, the real life mayor made this a primary subject of her campaign in the 2025 run and only took office in January of this year. Consequently, we have decided to take it out on the last guy who should have prevented this.

It is kind of like a person who has been warned that they are walking straight for a waterfall of lava. They continue to walk towards it because they are an idiot. Not because they are blind. Not because they are wearing a blindfold. Just because they are a freaking moron!

When the solution is to turn away from the waterfall of lava, some bozo thought to himself that changing course equates to zig zagging 5 feet in each direction while continuing to progress toward the bright colored lava. Sure, you add distance, while keeping your desired course of walking face first into nature's incinerator.

The city openly admitted in their 2023 report that the administration of the time was forced to enter the early intervention program. Not the one for infant development. The one to save cities from future bankruptcy.

We will start with speech therapy, work on fine motor skills, and progress to city budgets.

The City of Erie really seems to love "five-year plans." They don't seem to ever have a plan to resolve a matter in a year's time. Almost like they hope extending it beyond their term will place the blame of any errors on the next administration.

It's also interesting to note that Erie depends on a lot of nonprofits to revitalize the city. It's not that we have anything against nonprofits, but isn't the purpose of pushing for a thriving economy to make it profitable?

We just need one more to see if we can use another one after it

Nonprofits depend heavily on local funding and sometimes chump change provided by the state. How do you expect to fill your piggy bank if the only funds you're using to fill it are the funds that are in the piggy bank?

A solution for this unforeseen outcome was to invest in a variety of programs that study why money is being spent.

I mean.... Not bad positions to have if it keeps your town from a 12 million dollar deficit...

Despite all the public services that they're passionate about, they oddly forgot to invest in an education program for politicians who failed the third grade.

One example of the city's biggest blunders was receiving $76 million in federal ARP funding as a result of the COVID crisis. Some of the money went to good use, while a huge chunk of it also went into revitalization programs, such as those focused on beautifying or restoring the town.

Numbers are fun with colors

Wow... Almost 41 out of your 76 million dollars put towards making your town "feel" like it's thriving... Imagine if they had put it towards an industry to make your city thrive. Maybe then you would have the assurance of knowing you can afford to replace attributes to your house instead of having to pray that Erie will be able to bail you out the next time your gutter gets warped.

Erie apparently had a deadline to fill. The 2024 financial report states that in order to receive all the funding from the ARP, they "had" to put it towards other expenses that traditional funds would normally cover. How do we know the traditional funds would not have covered those debts? They make a point of saying that the ARP was going to be spent in that capacity anyway.

Covid relief for needs not caused by Covid... Got it...

Interesting takeaway. Your last mayor built the backbone of his economy on a once in a lifetime COVID relief package that he squandered on speculative multi-year projects and nonprofits that wouldn't be necessary in a town that doesn't need them if it thrived.

I know what you're thinking. Nonprofits offer services for people who don't have sustainable income. Agreed. That's why it's good to use 41 million dollars to bring in industry that produces sustainable incomes. In that case, the only people out of a job are the 5 people running your nonprofit. I'm sure the factory can hire them for something.

Your former mayor doesn't seem fazed by the notion that a 12 million dollar crisis was coming because of him.

That sounds confident

So strong.... So mighty! WE ARE SPARTA!

Oh... I forgot decades ago, people used these buildings...

I know this is a difficult concept for people who want a nice looking house right now. Your gutter is warped, and your flower beds are filled with weeds. That's not an easy situation to be in when your city has failed you. You have to understand that your local government only has as much money as they can take from you and other citizens during tax season. But if your neighbors are angry after tax season and decide to move somewhere cheaper, your taxes go up and your flower garden is forced to stick with weeds.

The solution to all of this is to get a bunch of people from places like Texas to say "we want to give our money to Erie." The only way people in Texas will want to give their twenty dollar bills to Erie is if you have something they are willing to buy from you. Otherwise, your economy will continue to run on funds existing in your town. Or grants provided by the government.

Schember bragging his dependence on federal gifts

That poor Jackson will never make it from Houston to Erie because your city officials aren't allowing your town to make products to trade for that 20 dollars.

It is a simple principle called economics. To become rich, you have to offer a product that other rich people outside your immediate area are willing to buy from you. To have an affordable life, you need to make your area affordable. That million dollars is not going to enter Erie if you are not willing to produce something that an outsider would willingly pay a million dollars for. Unlike Austin Powers, we know for a fact that a million dollars is a freaking lot of money when you aren't sitting comfortably in a city hall office.

Oh look... It's another 5 year plan for affordable housing that we speculate will be affordable in five years despite the economy getting worse over time....

Oh look... Another 5 year plan...

Interestingly, this is under the current administration. I guess we will be ripping into your current mayor sooner than later.

You.... You're supposed to be better than Schember!

Much sooner than we thought...