East Crawford Soldier Swallowed by Pothole: Military Marches Toward Franklin

County War 1 may finally be turning in favor of the Pensylvania Land and Treaty Organization. Half the East Crawford military invading Venango County is officially neutralized after one soldier fell into a pothole outside the Cranberry Mall. This makes two times this has happened since last summer.

Entrenched in the potholes of the Cranberry Mall were West Crawford troops who were previously warned of the dangers. Venango County potholes are much like glaciers. When you fall into them, you could wind up hundreds of feet beneath the surface.

Fortunately for the Allies, the single troop that pushed Venango supports back into the heart of Cranberry met this fate when he failed to surpass every pothole. This seems like a dark twist, but we can assure you that it isn't because the East Crawford troop who fell into the pothole is not real. So you can't shame us for killing him if he was already dead.

Mayor Blunders of Oil City, and self declared president of Venango County, says that he is pleased with the hard work his soldiers have put into saving the county. Military personnel are set to march onto Franklin in an attempt to regain lost territory that the Clarion County military failed to defend. Soldiers said goodbye to their wives and children, armed themselves with spitballs, and began their march down 322. They are expected to arrive by morning.