Dick Van Dyke to Return for Reboot of His Show

The miraculously healthy Dick Van Dyke is set to reprise his role as Robert Petri in the upcoming reboot of The Dick Van Dyke Show. According to sources, Dick Van Dyke will once again be playing a modernized version of his younger self alongside his wife, Mrs. Petri, and his son, Richie. With every other member of the original cast already passed away, producers are now looking for replacements to work alongside Dick Van Dyke as he prepares for his next role.

“It is very exhilarating to realize that I will be playing a version of my younger self,” states Dick Van Dyke, who was doing a handstand at the moment of this interview. “I feel as young as I was the day I was born, and just as athletic as the first cartwheel I took at the age of two months.”

Producers are uncertain as to whether or not it would be wise to find replacements for Dick Van Dyke’s other cast members, while some have suggested that younger stars would be better suited to fill the roles. Fans of the original show state that the corpses of his former co-stars should be dug up to take part in the filming.

“It just doesn’t seem right to break up the entire cast,” states one fan who grew up watching the original series. “My hope is to see Mary Tyler Moore standing next to Dick Van Dyke once again, even if she is just a skeleton.”

With Mr. Dyke now in the prime of his career, he’s now seeking his highest paid contract since he started acting back when he exited his mother’s womb. The producers hope that this upcoming series will be picked up by a major network like Netflix or HBO Max. Negotiations are still on the table, but Mr. Dyke is confident the show will be a hit as it was back in the 1950s.