Benjamin's Finally Gets Barrier to Protect from Those Crazy New Jersey Drivers

For readers residing outside of Venango County, one of our local restaurants now has a protective barrier featuring a guide rail less than six feet long. We don't really have many issues with cars flying into that restaurant, but it seems the city felt the need to place a barrier there anyways.

To add to the confusion, those driving on Benjamin's side still get to keep two lanes. However, the one on the far left must turn left now. Images depicting the before and after effect can be seen below. They have been enhanced with stylus technology.

Before, all lanes were equal!

Now, drivers must merge!

This isn't to say that the former order had any issues. We just want people driving dangerous vehicles to battle the risk of potential brain farts while learning to adapt to a new system.

For the record, we don't really have people from New Jersey here. Most people here know how to drive. However, now that the barrier's been placed next to Benjamin's, with lanes changing purpose, you can guarantee a few people may look like they learned to drive in New Jersey.

You think we're joking? We're actually taking a very serious concern and addressing the matter in the most humorous way possible. When people are used to a lane offering the option to go straight, they may not be entirely focused on the arrow that one day unexpectedly indicates left as the only option. Consequently, you might find some of those drivers flying straight into the vehicles directly in front of them who are moving the opposite direction. We know this because our creator once observed white lines being replaced with yellow ones when he lived in Lancaster. Local drivers used to the double lane still drove on the left side of the yellow lines months after the side in discussion was reduced to a single lane. It's as if they were color blind.

Meanwhile, people driving on the Fountain Park side of Franklin have now been forced to reduce their options to a turning lane and a right lane that goes straight. What happens 10 feet after the double lane is turned into a single lane? It turns back into a double lane again, causing us to wonder why we turned it into a single lane in the first place.

Was traffic really in need of a change in downtown Franklin? We have noticed big lines of vehicles stretching from one side of Liberty Street to the other. This usually occurs when construction workers are tearing up the road. We will admit this is a major inconvenience, as most of those vehicles require an additional 60 seconds to get all the way through town.

Finally, the city is working to resolve minute-long traffic jams caused by road workers they keep sending to Liberty Street. The solution is to reduce both sides of the road to one lane, but only for a 20 foot stretch. It must convert back to two lanes on each opposite side of the traffic light. We are confident that this philosophy of more congestion will reduce the slow pace that has been plaguing drivers every time road workers dig up the street.

To help prepare you, as the driver, for the unexpected change in roadway chemistry, we have formed this graph below with common symbols and colors to demonstrate what you may observe as you're driving down Liberty Street in Franklin.

Note that the yellow line must always remain on the left side of your vehicle. Additionally, the arrow that points left means you should go left. The arrow that says go straight means you should go straight. The only time you don't listen to these arrows is when they are in a lane separatefrom your own. We also want to mention that you can only cross into another lane when driving over white lines that have breaks between them, almost like they are stretched out dots placed on the road.

As much as we would like to cover the science behind traffic lights, we don't want to overwhelm you with information on how many colors there are and what they represent. Instead, we'll leave you with the basic knowledge that we've presented and cover the rest of the details in a future article about crossing intersections. Drive safe and be careful not to look like you're from New Jersey.