Beaver County Reaches Trade Agreement with Allegheny County: Steel for Lumber

Mayor Dambuilder of Aliquippa, Capital of Beaver County, has reached a trade agreement with Mayor Steelhead of Pittsburgh, Capital of Allegheny County, over the lumber and metal plank resource bill.

According to sources, months of negotiations finally came to an end when Mayor Dambuilder agreed to stop plugging up the Ohio River with fallen trees. Several dams constructed along the Ohio River have been credited by Mayor Steelhead as the cause of minor floods in Allegheny cities.

"We were ready to cut ties with our trade agreement," states Mayor Steelhead. "We needed these woodchucks to stop building their homes along the river we share. Otherwise, we would stop sending them steel."

Mayor Dambuilder was not offended by being called a woodchuck, despite it being a slur to his breed.

"I understand he is frustrated," states Dambuilder, who oddly was munching on a piece of pine. "Normally that phrase would not stand with my beavers, but we have been using their steel to help solidify our water homes. That's probably where all the flooding is coming from."

Beaver County has promised to use the steel sparingly and to halt production of dams until they can learn better techniques. In the meantime, trade will continue, with Allegheny providing steel and Beaver County trading fallen trees for Pittsburgh to keep the furnaces running.