Allegheny County Demands Lawrence Return West Pittsburgh

It was stolen from the city in 1902. The whole west side of Pittsburgh—gone with no explanation. For years, Allegheny County officials have been searching, trying to find out who stole all the buildings that made up the west side of town. Now, they have finally discovered it two counties away.

It was Mayor Steelhead of Pittsburgh who made the discovery while looking at a map. Steelhead, who reads his map every day during breakfast, decided to check the Lawrence County section. That’s when it stood out to him.

Mayor Steelhead reading his morning map

West Pittsburgh was listed plain as day. The county was not even trying to hide the fact that they had it all this time. Steelhead even checked the landmarks. From the hills, to the buildings, to the underground sewage system, everything was exactly the same as the west side recorded from 1902.

"The families in those homes have lived there this entire time, unaware they were taken," Mayor Steelhead told the press. "This injustice does not require we pay anything. Instead, Lawrence owes us the very thing they stole in a single night."

Lawrence County has not responded to the accusations Steelhead is making. With silence being their preferred response, Steelhead states that the west side of Allegheny's capital will be taken back one way or another. They just need to figure out how to drag it the entire 46 miles.

The complaint may be controversial given that Pittsburgh is refusing to surrender Mount Washington to their neighboring county of Washington County. Mayor George Washington of Washington Township, capital of Washington County, has been arguing for the ownership of Mount Washington since it was discovered that Pittsburgh stole it from them.

Mount Washington in Pittsburgh

Now, Allegheny must decide if they want to be accused of hypocrisy by dragging the entire west half of Pittsburgh back to their capital city. Should they choose to do so, they will have the challenge of sneaking the entire section of town through Beaver or Butler County unnoticed.