What's in The Mystery Box?

Old news is still news, and when it comes to reporting our opinions of that news, we do what we want because we aren't 100% real. With that said, this article will be somewhat less satirical and a bit more direct about the progress of a business you would not expect to be coming to Venango County. This is a bit of a shock considering all stores like this never last in our region. At the same time, the complex surrounding it is drawing in business to some extent. Therefore, because we have not seen this kind of store for 5 years, maybe there is hope for it to survive.

It was announced last June that a new building would be erected for Venango's first attempt at a Marshall's. Never heard of it? We have but had to think about it because they aren't common around here. Grant it, there is one in Erie and Punxsutawney, which are more than an hours drive from Venango. Therefore, it is safe to assume a lot of people around here have never heard of or seen one. Just because it has a big name doesn't mean it's known by us.

In case you have no clue, it is a home goods store. That's right! Another retailer that, if it is successful, will likely eat up all the business trying to accomplish the same thing at a local level. We know this because people in the community still express frustration over Walmart making it difficult for local businesses to survive. And now.... To express opinions that will make those local business owners very angry....

GOOD! Yup, you aren't doing anything to advance the county anyway. Nobody is driving out of the way to come to Martha's Peanut Butter-Stained T-shirts. It's about time we get a business that will give the county a little life... Well.....

The problem is that nobody is going to drive out of their way to come to Marshal's in Venango either. The people living in Meadville will likely go to Erie because it is a slightly shorter drive. Plus, they have restaurants like chipotle as well. People in regions like Titusville will also probably go to Erie since the variety of stores can justify a day trip. Something you cannot find in Venango County.

The issue once again is that Marchal's is too big a name for such a small county. You have a store, and nobody outside willing to make the drive to go shop there. Granted, it does appeal to the lower class that makes up the majority of the county, considering they are an off-price store. Nonetheless, it creates the same problem the local businesses have where it is not the difference maker to bring people in. Meanwhile, the county still has the issue of money outflowing because they have no industry to influence an inflow of cash.

Let us illustrate with this picture of a small circle representing Venango County, and a bigger circle representing everywhere people would rather live. If the dude in Venango's circle decides he wants to sell apples, is he really going to draw the people in the big circle when they have apples, oranges, and bananas? Meanwhile, the big circle also has industry exporting product to create an inflow of money to help justify both local and chain department stores.

The Venango Republic is not responsible if you're apple business fails from following this graph.

I'm not trying to insult local business. I'm trying to insult the people acting like these local businesses are the difference maker. I am also not trying to insult department stores. I am just trying to insult the brainiacs who are trying to bring in department stores when the county doesn't have the inflow of cash to help it thrive.

You're issue Venango is that you look to your stores as an option to make your county what it was. You want to make it what it was? Then put the industry of exportation first. Either that or do something more interesting than Christmas lights on the bridge to attract the tourists. What I mean by interesting is something that has never been done before.

For instance, in the middle of nowhere, some dude decided to build an ark in the most isolated location in Kentucky. Despite the towns in the surrounding regions being slums, it manages to bring in the tourists Oil City desperately desires.

Example two: South Dakota's Black Hills are inconvenient to drive through. However, people are willing to do so because some guy got government funding to put faces in a mountain. This once again proves people will drive to a crappy area to see something unusual and bizarre.

Now look at Oil City. It has nothing going for it except that its people live in denial that it has nothing going for it. The enthusiasts try very hard to make the town pleasant but do it in the dumbest ways possible. Instead of building something like an ark, we spent 88 thousand to put stupid Christmas lights on a bridge. You could have got discounted lights at Dollar General, and it would have had the same impact. I love how these enthusiasts know they need to think creatively. Could you imagine how great it would be if they now started to think creatively?

This is the major problem with Venango County. We are bringing in stores thinking that the big names mean something when they don't. We also want to beautify the town with attractions you can find in any town with a middle-class economy.

Venango County, just do something ridiculous even if it seems offensive. Throw a bra on the county courthouse and call it your advocacy for female judges. I guarantee, national news will cover it, and you will instantly have tourists in this region. You just have to be willing to do the unthinkable. DO IT!

Bra taken down by order of the judge. Sign petition to put bra back.

Think about it. You will be the only courthouse in the world with a giant bra on the front. You accomplish this task, and Venango will be a tourist trap for entrepreneurs to startup local business. Our tourist trap will literally be a boobie trap! Doesn't it sound like it has potential?????

Or.... We can put boring lights on a bridge........