Venango County VASA Program Discovers New Planet from Observatory

The Venango County Observatory, a $20 telescope that sits on top of City Hall, which also is the City Outhouse, caught glimps of what Venango experts are calling a "new planet." The object is estimated to be within 20 feet of Earth's surface and is what professors at Venango Campus are calling "the Moon." People are calling this the biggest discovery Venango County has made since they learned life exists past the border of Clarion.

With the new discovery of the space object, VASA says that they will consider sending astronauts to the nearby planet. The city budget currently sits at negative $50, Primarily because Oil City owes Franklin for upgrading the wifi. VASA can only afford to send a few hampsters and a cockroach to the new planet. If the animals can successfully land, VASA says they will declare the mission to send man to another planet a success.

Venango's richest bumb, Mr. Elan Klutz, says that he will support the space mission to send pests to the new planet as long as humans take the credit. Klutz space program, Space V, will supply VASA with all the rocket fuel necessary as soon as Klutz is able to get the rockets from the Cranberry Walmart. Venango County experts are calling this the most daring mission our county has ever attempted. It we can beat Titusvilles space program to the new planet, we will be set for world domination.