Venango Campus Study Finds Majority of Locals Don't Like Being Cold or Hot

A recent study found that people are always dissatisfied with the weather. According to surveys conducted all across the county, people hate cold weather as well as hot weather, proving that the only climate locals truly enjoy is complaining.

A survey found that 96 percent of locals hate the cold and believe winters are too extreme. An additional 4 percent stated that the cold winter "builds character" just before sneezing.

On the exact same survey, those who reported winter being too cold also state that summer heat is only bearable during a cookout. In which case, they will still complain that it is too hot just before horking down their spicy barbecue chicken sandwich.

In total, 100% of respondants filled in the "ideal weather" section with "whatever isn't happening today." Scientest also noticed that all survey takers complained about the weather while taking the survey about complaining about the weather.

In conclusion, experts say the only forecast Venango residents will ever agree on is a 100% chance of dissatisfaction — with scattered grumbling and a high-pressure front of passive aggression.