Success Backup Pitcher Takes Bat to Head

It seems to be a trend for the Oil City Success pitchers to stand in the most illogical places when pitching to the opposition. In the last three games, each pitcher has been caught off the mound. Last night's game, however, was incredibly unusual.

Harold Pirate, the MLB's only eye-patched pitcher, literally stood within swinging distance of the batter — his logic being that the pitches would get to the catcher quicker.

Aside from the fact that the Success doesn't have a catcher on home plate, Pirate's decision was costly to the implants in his head. By the end of the first inning, Pirate took 32 bats to the face and had to be carried off on a stretcher. Unfortunately, there were no other backup pitchers to replace him. This forced the team to pitch the ball from second base. They lost again...