Study: Somehow Living in Denial Makes it Better

A recent study found that intentionally exaggerating the progress of the region and denying the problems it faces somehow magically makes everything better. According to research conducted by the Wannabe Society, pretending everything is moving in the right direction accomplishes everything — even if it involves not addressing what is standing in the way of progress.

"I have this rule to be optimistic, even to the extreme of lying about how much better things are becoming," states some random guy who hasn’t solved the houses falling apart on Oil City’s North Side.

The optimism seems to be working for people living in La-La Land. According to experts, they may not actually see the houses falling apart on the North Side. Then again, they might just be pretending not to. When asked to enter a home with loose floorboards, the director of the La-La Land Society stated that he “was not dressed appropriately for such a nice house.” We agree. His tux was too fitting for the mold.

With houses crumbling into the Allegheny River, and more influential figures trying to emphasize the greatness of this region, local realists are still trying to figure out what this greatness is being compared to.

"I came from a penthouse in New York City to find a nice, slow-paced lifestyle," states a man who is content but real about his location. "I still don’t understand why these enthusiasts are talking like they haven’t seen a picture of a city skyline."

Perhaps it is the negativity the optimistic people hate. According to a survey conducted by general conversation, overly optimistic people are just trying to “combat the overly pessimistic people who don’t like it here.” This makes sense considering how well the pessimists receive it. “Just pretend the low points don’t exist and the pessimists will respect us for it. They won’t get mad when we tell them not to have an opinion.”

Interestingly, the people who prefer the more populated areas also hate what Venango enthusiasts negatively say about their preferred regions. According to reality, “everyone has a preference, and it’s okay to like something over other things.” Despite this fact of existence, a study conducted by the My Ears Are Bleeding Association found that people feel the need to bash lifestyles that don’t align with what they prefer — not just Venango County pessimists.

During a sit-down conversation with some random guy, Jeremy Jetfuel expressed his love for the hometown he genuinely misses. Mr. I’mthinkingI’mBetterForMyHometown responded, “I’ve been there and like it best when it’s in my rearview mirror.” Jeremy Jetfuel used the same joke about Venango County, and the man got offended. So much for equal respect.

The Venango County pessimists also seem to be frustrated with the optimists who seem to think only one group is entitled to an opinion. According to research conducted by the We Only Like High Points Foundation, optimists don’t want to admit our population has gone down by 9,000 people since 2017.

“We’re a bit put off that this detail is mentioned in the article because it might stop people from coming here,” states the guy who thinks pretending people are coming here will make people come here. Interestingly, he still keeps saying “people are moving back,” even though five times as many are leaving. Way to solve the problem!

After being banned from several Facebook pages for simply stating that Venango County is not the size of New York City, the author behind The Venango Republic has one simple message: it’s okay to like where you live. It’s also okay not to like more populated regions. What’s not okay is acting like negative people aren’t entitled to their opinion — especially if you show the same negativity toward their preferred places to live. It’s also not okay to lie and silence people who are genuinely citing the problems our county is facing just because you want this county to "only have high points." Do you think you will solve low points by pretending they don’t exist? We may emphasize the negatives, but at least our humor does more to solve the problem.

The Venango Republic is not a pessimistic platform. It is a realistic platform — with fake news mixed in. You got us there. But our humor surrounding the ironies of Venango County comes from a genuine passion to solve the barriers impacting the region, which is why it’s ridiculous for people to be uneasy or offended by what is presented. Do you want to solve problems, or just keep pretending people aren’t leaving? Then you have to be willing to have the hard conversations and admit what work needs done.