Fart Comes Clean About "Loud Boom"
Jammal Fart, Cranberry's only mall cop, has come forward to confess his role in the loud boom. This came one week after the incident which shook Franklin, and almost collapsed Oil City's Northside properties.
The Derrick reported the incident as an unresolved investigation last Saturday. As of today, Fart has turned himself into the police revealing that he was the one who caused the loud boom.
Before we continue, we can explain the unusual change in Jammal's appearance..... No we can't.... Just read our last article and you'll figure it out yourself...
Fart states that he was on patrol, dragging his Segway (dolly) through the mall. While stopping at China Wok for lunch, a business that has been closed for several years, Fart experienced what he described as a "real life enactment of his family pride."
It was in this moment that Fart observed the entire establishment shake beneath his feet in what only could be described as a "loud boom." The echo then teleported to Oil City, surpassing Seneca and Cranberry.
The matter was an embarrassment to Fart given that he hasn't blown one this extreme for several weeks. Nonetheless, Fart knew it would dishonor the family legacy to allow someone else to take credit for his work. Fart is now considered a legend in his bloodline.
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