Canada Announces Border Wall: "We're Sick of Being Polite"

A recent flow of illegal immigrants has North America taking drastic measures to protect their borders. According to reports issued by the department of Keep the South Away, Mexicans are setting their eyes into the neighboring nation of Canada.

"We just need to face the facts that there just isn't enough room for all these Mexicans" states one man we conveniently made up to justify this quote.

Matters are growing exponentially with the rise of Mexican heritage crowding up North American space. Deli owners all across the United States report an inability to stock their shelves with American subs after being overrun with tortilla's and queso. Ice has been deployed but so far, it has just melted in the queso.

Canadians, who are generally hospitable towards outsiders due to this stereotype (we apologise for making generalizations about your culture Canada), are now losing valuable space because of invasive Mexicans, who we all know, tend to enter countries uninvited. (It must be true since that's what people say).

Many have suggested rounding up those who have crossed into the United States illegally to send them back into the nation of Mexico. According to sources, the Mexican government would gladly take back whoever we send, except that Mexicans keep crossing their southern border to get into Mexico before making their way to the United states.

The Mexican government has tried building a wall of their own to secure their southern border. Unfortunately, Mexicans are still coming in with no logical explanation. Sources cannot seem to explain where these Mexicans are coming from with even the two most southern nations of Argentina and Chile reporting an unexplained overflow of Mexicans moving northward through their countries.

If the traffic continues at this rate, experts fear that regions as far as Greenland will be packed to the max with Mexicans. With nowhere else to go, experts believe they will begin moving south to the opposite side of the globe where they may invade other continents before resurfacing again in South America.