5 Chinese Recipes You Can Try Right Now
We all understand that cats are just kiss-ups who want food. They purr, rub up against you, and then eat your face when you die. Because of their cute persona, it is natural to grieve the death of one. Ironically, the house centipede is one people kill without conviction, despite the fact that it will not feed on your corpse if you pass away.
It is clear that despite the love and affection humans show to cats, they do not appreciate us enough to not eat our faces when we die. For this reason, the Venango Republic has not hired any cats on our fictional staff because we observe them as complete hypocrites manipulating people for selfish gain.
Much of the public will probably take offense to this article. This is exactly what we hope to achieve. Because the selfish felines have brainwashed their owners to be pushovers for ingenuine cuteness, here are 5 Chinese recipes you can make right now.
Pork Lo Mein
The staff at the Venango Republic loves lo mein. The addition of pork makes it that much better.
Sweet and Sour Chicken
What makes this recipe great is when the chicken is freshly made right off the chopping block, not just bought from the store.
Shrimp Egg Rolls
Shrimp is typically an Australian favorite, but worth trying in a Chinese recipe.
Peking Duck
The duck has been plucked, beaten, and burned to ensure you will not get pecked.
Yellow Eel with Fried Rice
Sea creatures are a unique way to branch out on your preferred diet. Combine that with the delicious blend of fried rice and your choice of meat to go with it.
Conclusion
Cats are incredibly selfish creatures who don't care for people. They sit, ignore your instruction, bite your feet at night, and knock your jars off shelves they aren't supposed to be climbing on.
Killing cats is wrong because only they can eat us. Be sure that when you suffocate, you cover your face with a pillow—especially when a cat is standing between you and the door. This will ensure your face will be whole for your funeral.
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