A local man has filed a noise complaint against the crickets in his back yard due to his inability to sleep. According to sources, Raymond Earmuffin is finding it impossible to get any sleep at night because the crickets are "plotting their comeback." The complaint was filed early Friday morning when Earmuffin says he couldn't "take it any longer." After several attempts to scare the crickets away with the smell of tuna, Earmuffin decided it was time to take legal action. "I want to send a clear message to these crickets that this is a community where noise is not permitted" states Earmuffin, who works from home running a jackhammer. The crickets have not responded to the allgations of being too noisy. Sources say that this may be due to their inability to speak. Earmuffin has tried to communicate via rubbing his legs together but has only successfully caused the neighbors to get a restraining order on him. He says that he will continue trying.

A photo has surfaced taking Venango County by storm. During a concert featuring the talents of our regions only whistle blower, the founder and CEO of the Venango Republic was caught on camera with his lead journalist doing whatever the Hell this is. The two were well covered in the crowd of seven attendees. With every lawn chair crammed inside a thousand square foot radius, it came as quite a shock for them to suddenly have the Polaroid point thier direction. Within hours, the photos went viral after being posted to every telephone pole on Seneca Street. Blobbert Blobfish, the founder and CEO of the Venango Republic, did not hesitate to take to social media for his massive following of five people. "I’d like to personally apologize to my wife, my fish tank family, and the loyal staff of The Venango Republic. You all deserved better than watching your CEO get caught on the KISCAM embracing Jeremy Jetfuel like a microwaved meatloaf clutching a stress ball." Jetfuel made a less convincing defense claiming Blobbert was brushing cat hair off his coat. Whatever the case may be, we can be certain that Blobfish and Jetfuel will have to deal with public scrutiny until the next Polaroid revelation.

A heated debate between three city officials got nowhere today after hours of one of them insisting Oil City needs a name change. According to sources, Jimmy Jimjim is advocating to call Oil City "Dryspell" because he wants the town to be as authentic as Chinese restaurants. "We haven't had oil in at least a thousand years" says Jimjim. "It's been so long since our forefathers first coined the name. But at this point, it makes sense to change with the times." Willy Wonkwonk, anther official on the board, advocated for a name change as well, but insisted the entire city be changed to a fair ground with a water hole in the middle to commemorate the towns main source of income. His suggestion? He wants to call it the town of "Well Fair." A slight play on words to descibe the working (or should we say unworking) class. Tommy Tomtom was against both suggestions stating that Oil City must keep its name for the historical significance. Jimjim and Wonkwonk were confused considering that the history is not that significant. I mean, let's be real. When did a president ever reference this towns existence?

East Crawford Troops have returned just outside the industrial city of Tionesta and are attempting to lay seige to it one more time. Forest County troops from Marienville are guarding the city during hours of operation. Unfortunately, the county can only afford to employ them for three hours a day leaving the city unprotected between 12 PM and 9 AM Eastern Time. East Crawford has discussed changing their troops shift to a time of day differing from Forest County's army. Despite their city only having a rotary phone to communicate, Mayor Dumbdumb of Titusville says that he has tried to use other forms of communication, including attaching a note to a squirrels foot and setting it loose. The squirrel just ate the note and ran up a powerline where it got fried like a strip of bacon. East Crawford troops technically have a new schedule which involves starting their shift just as Forest County troops end their own. Unfortunately, no one has successfully relayed this message to them, leaving them to believe their hours are between 9 AM and 12 PM, Monday through Wednesday, and every other weekend. Experts say this war is not likely to end any time soon. Not because resources are readily available, but because both armies are stranded and cannot afford an Uber to take them home. Consequently, they are stuck in Tionesta until the leaders of each county comes to realize what a ridiculous idea this war is.

Quickfill is gone leaving locals to speculate what new business might be moving in to the miniature parking lot capable of accomodating 5 cars at a time. Could it be Venango County's first taste of Star Bucks? Or will it be a business with products locals can afford? The anticipation is wild and killing the residents so badly, there might not be any customers by the time to new business arrives. Hope is high. Standards are low. One local even suggested "things are turning around" shortly after the opening of a local Dollar General. There's no doubt, we are closer to another oil boom than we were two hours ago. Not closer than we were three hours ago. But hey! Progress is progress! To help spark even more hope of nothing significant, Sheetz decided to tear up thier parking lot too. The difference is, they kept their building standing, showing that they can stay in business even in an area like Venango County. Some are calling this move a divine prophecy that Elon Musk will use the new pavement as the launch pad for his Mars shuttle. Everyone with common sense says they are just repairing something beneath the parking lot. Whatever the new business will be, enthusiasts are excited for the creation of "new jobs." We here at the Venango Republic share this enthusiasm even though the jobs will probably be minimum wage and nothing sufficient enough to get a kid to move out of his grandma's basement. There is no doubt that this sudden change to both parking lots will mean something big by Venango County standards. Even though that is still small to the rest of the world, locals can be proud because there is nothing else to really take pride in anyways.

It has been 5 days since Tionesta fell to East Crewford troops overtaking the industrial city. The town was silent and unprepared for the unexpected arival of two soldiers carrying spitball machine guns and muffin hand grenades. Since Saturday, residents had to watch two soldiers sitting outside in thier lawnchairs keeping the town under seige. Now, they have finally found salvation. It was 9 PM Wednesday when Marienville troops finally arrived to save Tionesta from the onslaught. At this point, there was only one soldier left as the other ventured to a nearby town to extend the invasion. As the soldier slept in his lawn chair, shots rang out. Two Marienville troops ran down from the hill firing spitballs towards the East Crawford enforcement. Despite the quiet nature of the spitballs, Crawfords invader woke when a drip of suliva flew off the spitball and landed on his arm. Sources say that the shrapnel looked fatal, but was tended to imediately when the Crawford troop applied sanitizer to his hand. Experts say his quick reaction to recieve first aide will significantly decrease his chances of catching covid. The East Crawford soldier has retreated from the town, but Marienville forces are fearful that there may be retaliation. A Marienville soldier has been hit from the skirmish and is in critical condition. Locals say they tried to tend to his wounds when he got struck by a spitball but did not have any sanitary products in town to prevent him from catching covid. Marienville medicts also lacked the necessary first aid because they don't know what sanitary means.

Bigfoot, the summer intern for the Venango Republic, has just announced his intentions of extending his contract with the Venango Republic through 2027. This will be the first time in history that a mythical ape like creature worked for a major news outlet for more than 5 months. "We are extremely excited to see Bigfoot returning next year" says Blobbert Blobfish, founder and CEO of the Venango Republic. "Bigfoot has been great to have around. Although fething the coffee has been a challenge for him due to the size of his hands, I can personally say that he has been a great moral support when we need a walking carpet around." Ye Ti, the winter intern for the Venango Republic, says that he is thinking of extending his contract too. Unfortunately, he is in hibernation mode and unable to communicate effectively at this time. The Venango Republic has become the first news organization to offer equal opportunity to mythical looking creatures. Before his big break, Bigfoot was running animal nude through the woods trying to maintain a blurry persona in case camera's tried to prove his existence. Now, he spends his evenings reading to children at the local library when he is not working. This is a huge step from being a menace trying to eat people to survive. There's no doubt that the Venango Republic has given Bigfoot a purpose to live for. No other local or national news organization has ever employed a creature like this. We are not only proud of him, but proud of ourselves for coming up with this nonsense.

It has been 4 months since City Hall cought fire after the Mayor struck a match over the outhouse throne. Locals banded together removing floor boards from their crumbling homes to help contribute to building the new City Hall. Since then, the new City Hall, which still shares places with the City Outhouse, has seen many renovations. Firstly, a bitet toilet system was installed to ensure the Mayor can properly clean himself while simultaneously dousing the flames in the event of a fire. Secondly, a new observatory was installed on the roof of the outhouse to help drive tourists to the area. As of this morning, the bidet system has failed leading to suspicion that East Crawford sabotaged the inner workings of our sewage cleaner. Mayor Blunders of Oil City discovered the malfunction when he tried to spray the hose to hydrate himself. The Mayor was quick to address the media saying that he "will not allow East Crawford to cripple our nation by bypassing our immigration system." Reporters were confused since the road connecting Oil City to Titusville has no such security. Mayor Blunders announced plans to install a fire escape on the face of City Hall. Not only was this plan poorly executed for the fact the staircase is too small for humans to fit on, but now the door won't open. Residents of Oil City now have no place to relieve themselves because Mayor Blunders has jammed the door shut. As for the bidet toilet system, sources say Mayor Blunders forgot to install a water system when he first put the genital cleaner in. Outhouses don't come with an external water source because the fecal matter is supposed to be burried in the hole. Consequently, Blunders is still Blaming Eastern Crawford and has declared this an violation of national security.

It has been four months since Clarion suffered the loss of their favorite boneless chicken wings. After the Infusion Bar and Grille went out of business, the town was in an uproar knowing that their favorite fowl meat was lost for good. The owner was driven out of town leaving the community wondering what supplier provided those delicious finger licking wonders. Some sources suggested they were provided by local farmers who personally plucked the wings themselves. Others say the wings were sent by a power beyond natures understanding. One inside source suggested they may have been delivered by a company named Cisco. We cannot confirm this because it came from an actual worker at Infusion, and as we know, that bars toilet never got cleaned despite the daily hangovers. The mystery behind the majestic boneless chicken wings origins may be lost forever. But an alternative has surfaced offering hope for the community. According to sources, Tody's Bar and Grille has chicken tenders with the same majestic quality. No, they did not pay us to say this. We just ate there and could not help but share the news. When our lead journalist, Jeremy Jetfuel, along with our CEO, Blobbert Blobfish, stopped in and ordered the chicken tenders, they were blown away by the perfection that is Toby's fried chicken tenders. The community has grieved the loss of those boneless chicken wings. Many were saddened as if their own family were lost. We will never again see the quality of Infusions boneless chicken wings. But we will find a new life by Toby's chicken tenders. Whatever the cause, we know not. Why did the gods of grease boiled birds decide to take our beloved recipes away? Are they locked away in the Infusion freezer as we speak? Or have they been sold to a bar far away from this town? We will miss you Infusion boneless chicken wings. You are what gave this town purpose. But thank you Toby's chicken tenders for existing as a beacon of hope to us who have grieved the loss of our favorite poultry. We will never forget the life you have brought back to this region through the masterful plucking of our favorite roasted fouls. May God bless the chickens who are serving us on the platter.

In a new research conducted by someone outside of Venango County, Explore Venango has provided information that "could" help you understand what causes anxiety. Included in the results is the discovery that stuff can trigger a person. Not only is this groundbreaking information enough to give Jon Hopkins a run for his money, but it also isn't. According to sources, a local journalist skimmed a psychology blog during a bathroom break and is now considered a "local expert" in trauma neuroscience. Whether Explore Venango had permission to copy this article or not is not the major concern. Instead, the gods of comedy have instructed us to poke fun at the fact that Explore Venango is sharing articles too big for a small county news outlet like themselves. Not only does the existence of this article show that Explore Venango is running low on newsworthy stories at a local level. It is just hilarious that they think people will turn to this article and say "WOW! All those Dr. Phil episodes and I finally have the answer!" If you or a loved one is struggling with severe depression, do not consult a licensed professional. Look to Explore Venango instead. They know what causes depression. They've been trying to make newsworthy content for Venango County since 2010.

It's been almost a day since East Crawford authorized the invasion of Forest County overtaking the industrial city of Tionesta. With 400 residents having to embarassingly deal with two confused looking military men in their town center, peace talks were imediately demanded by Forest County. Mayor Blunders of Oil City, the self proclaimed president of Venango County, put preasure on East Crawford to hold these negotiations by raising tariffs to one hundred percent. This political move did absolutely nothing since East Crawford never trades with Venango County. Nevertheless, Mayor Dumbdumb of Titusville said that he would meet with county leaders to present his demands. The meeting took place at 12 PM today in the basement of Mayor Blunders mothers house. They would have used City Hall, but the outhouse which acts as City Hall was being drained of all its waste. Mayor Shh! of Tionesta, and self proclaimed president of West Forest County, proposed the immediate removal of the two troops stating that their presence was making the town look like a dump. Mayor Dumbdumb stated that he was willing to accomodate the demand providing Tionesta offer their most valuable resource. Mayor Shh! refused the demand stating that "the racoon population is what gives our hunters reason to visit our town!" While listening to Mayor Shh! rant about the racoon population, Mayor Dumbdumb managed to accidentally eat the entire cheese tray. After requesting more cheese, Mayor Blunders shouted at Mayor Dumbdumb declaring his lack of self control "an attempt to cripple Venango County's economy." Evidentally, the cost of this cheese outweighs Blunders monthly paycheck. Mayor Blunders has declared war on East Crawford for the second time this year demanding a new cheese tray and an additional ten to compensate for the emotional trauma. Mayor Dumbdumb left Oil City just minutes ago without giving Blunders an answer to his demand.

Jeremy Jetfuel, lead journalist for the Venango Republic, was at Toby's Bar and Grille today when he met 4 women holding a party. What was extremely strange about this incident is that the women holding the party say it was to commemorate "white trash" with a bachelorette theme..... Or maybe it was the other way around.... Regardless of what the party commemorated, Jetfuel was incredibly confused by the instance, mainly for the fact the women had no trash around. Based on information provided by the women holding the party, white trash is something they are passionate about. The Venango Republic chooses not to judge people based on their interests. While we believe waste management is necessary for the sustainability of society, we do not judge these women for what they choose to swim in. At least they don't use brown trash. That could stain their dresses. (We were talking about actual trash you racists!) Despite our respect of the passion these women have for unregulated garbage, we here at the Venango Republic encourage everyone to throw their trash away. This PSA brought to you by Preloaded Diapers. We fill them so your infant doesn't have to.