Woman Falls Through Stairs, Proves Steel City Is a Myth

The City of Pittsburgh is being investigated for allegations of misleading tourists with the phrase "Steel City." This came after a woman fell 20 feet through a collapsed stairway, requiring assistance to save her.

The incident took place Sunday, August 2nd, on the 2500 block of Mission Street. A woman was walking on a set of stairs that experts state were actually made of rotting wood. The woman is said to have fallen through to a depth of about 20 feet, requiring her to receive medical attention.

Pittsburgh was immediately scrutinized for its claim of being the Steel City. Outside observers, as well as several locals, state that they feel the city has been living a lie. Others also noted that the rotting wood might explain why their football team has been average over the last nine years.

"We aren't entirely made of steel after all," states Northern City Redneck of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. "The industry technically left years ago, but I thought the impression was still left behind."

With the city now consisting of sections made of rotting wood, many are calling for the impeachment of Mayor Steelhead, citing that Pittsburgh should instead be nicknamed the City of Rednecks.

In a press briefing today, Mayor Steelhead did not back down when calling out the yinzers attempting to redefine the identity of the historical city. He promises that he will send out special forces to remove all non-steel structures and replace them with the metal that makes their city what it used to be.

As for the woman who fell through the stairs, her injury offers more evidence that the city, claiming to be made completely out of steel, is a living lie. It seems that even the residents themselves are not made out of steel, given that they break under pressure. Doctors are working to try to figure out what happened to the genetics that once made the people of Pittsburgh steel-blooded. As of now, the mystery remains if genetic mutations can be performed to create the same bodily functions in the locals.