What NOT To Expect At The Something Clever Fashion Show

Apr 23, 2025

3 min read

The Something Clever Fashion Show is set to kick off this Saturday at the Bella Cucina Resturant. With completely new ownership, many shoppers are waiting in anticipation for the upcoming event. We here at the Venango Republic got the privilege of a VIP escort to the police station after trying to break in to see what they are hiding. With no information on what to expect this Saturday, we felt it was appropriate to cover what not to expect since we litterally do not know what to expect.

Clever Hats

Don't be fooled by the name. Just because they claim there is something clever about this store does not mean they will have hats capable of giving your mind intelegence. They may have good fashion designs, but this is still Venango County.

Meat Cleavers

We are not sponsored by Sabatier. We just stole their picture.

The problem with the word clever is that it spells almost the same as cleaver. This could lead people to believe that Something Clever is actually a meat grinding company. We figured we should make it clear that this fashion store does not offer prime cut ribs.

Men

Blurry man who was forced to attend by his wife.....

I mean.... Unless you really want to..... No judgement here......

Elephants

We dare you Bella Cucina! Just try this!

We are fairly confident that Bella Cucina will not be able to fit an elephant inside their restaurant on this occasion. Even if they got a baby one, they would have to lower their seating capacity which would mean less money.

Gerber Baby Food

Unfortunately, the restaurant does not serve this. The only likelihood of this showing up at the event is if a mother brings her child and provides her own Gerber food. An alternative option is also to vomit up half digested spinach.

Pinata

Unfortunately, despite how fun it would be to see blindfolded fashion models missing the pinata and accidentally hitting eachother in the head with a bat, the new ownership cannot risk the potential lawsuits. Also, you know you're bad at Spanish when someone says gracias and you respond pinata.

Fanny Packs

Look, we know it's Venango County..... But come on.... Even we are way past this.....

Ewoks

What you see when you look inside the Bella Cucina tree

These will definately not be present because they are not real.....

Cow Manure

A great source of nutrition for crops, this farmer favorite will not be making an appearance at the fashion show because it doesn't make any sense.

Michael Jackson

Unfortunately, Mr. Jackson will not be able to make it to the show. He is currently burried in too much soil. While you might consider this joke insensitive, we here at the Venango Republic would argue that he has no dirt on us.

The fashion show takes place April 26th in the year 2000 plus 25. Doors open at 11:30 AM because PM is ridiculously late. Reservations are full and all attempts to make further reservations will be rejected. To make a reservation that will be rejected, call 814-412-4955. A soft opening will follow the fashion show that unfortunately consists of products we are not able to prepare you for. You are just going to have to show up and act surprised. Either that or peer into the window before the event to try to get an idea of what's to come.