Westmoreland Gives Oil City a New Rotary Phone

The Allegheny Military has made off with Oil City's one and only rotary phone to prevent Mayor Blunders from calling Pittsburgh. Now, Westmoreland says they will come to Oil City's aid by replacing the phone with a brand-new one.

Westmoreland and Venango County have a history of getting on Mayor Steelhead's nerves. Mayor Rebel of Westmoreland regularly calls Pittsburgh with a request to possess portions of Allegheny County in his drive to expand westward. Similarly, Mayor Blunders of Venango County has called Mayor Steelhead almost daily for the last year and a half, pestering him about changing the Allegheny River to the Gulf of Venango.

Steelhead slamming his head against his desk over excessive calls

Now, it appears that Allegheny's decision to take away Blunders' rotary phone will result in a new friendship between Westmoreland and Venango County. Mayor Rebel is now offering Oil City a brand-new rotary phone, believing that the pressure of two leaders calling Steelhead will force Allegheny to finally give in.

“We do share a common objective,” Mayor Rebel told the press. “With Venango County attacking Allegheny by phone from the north, we shall attack their east end with our own barrage of phone calls, dividing Allegheny on two fronts.”

Areas Pittsburgh can expect the calls to come from

The phone is being delivered by way of Indiana County and through the region of Clarion. If the militia of the Westmoreland Whiskey Rebellion can bypass the Allegheny Military, Venango County will once again have their ultimate weapon to target Allegheny's capital of Pittsburgh. However, if the soldiers serving Mayor Steelhead get word of the phone, they may detour from Butler County to apprehend it.

Allegheny potential position in red, Westmoreland route in light blue

Because of Armstrongs close ties to Pittsburgh, Westmoreland must go the long way. Meanwhile, two-thirds of Venango County's military are making their way south from the border of Warren, where they are hoping to catch up to the enemy. If successful, they will be forced to fight steel-faced soldiers who have made off with Oil City's rotary phone and carrier pigeon.

Without telecommunication devices, getting word to Laurel and Hardy seemed impossible until Mayor Blunders had the genius idea of baking an apple pie.

Realizing that Oliver Hardy cannot resist such a pleasant dessert, it is expected that they will be in Oil City within the hour. Then, they will be given three minutes to eat their pie before heading south.