Western PA Faces Threat of Winter Temperatures as Elk Demands Control of Clarion

Weeks of conflict in the east side of Western Pennsylvania has led to Elk County exercising their power over the Groundhog Day accords. After the fall of Punxsutawney handed political authority of winter’s end to Elk County, the regime of Mayor Bighorn is seeking to overthrow the Pennsylvania Land and Treaty Organization, otherwise known as PLATO.

Pensylvania Land and Treaty Organization in blue. Everything else not the Pennsylvania Land and Treaty Organization....

Clarion defenses are still scarce thanks to the three morons making up their military still being lost somewhere in Butler. Mayor Intellect of Clarion is now calling on the counties of the PLATO alliance to come to their aid.

Clarion Military Morons just before getting lost in Butler

"Our university students are not prepared for physical altercations with Elk military," Mayor Intellect told the press. "We are a community who thrives on knowledge over physical strength, except for Saturdays when we are partying at the bars."

Forest County has been unable to respond to anyone's request for military intervention given that they have no population to raise their own troops. Despite being the neighboring county of Clarion, they have depended heavily on Venango County to help drive East Crawford forces from their capital of Marienville. 9-year-old Timmy finished the job just two days ago.

As for the other counties in the PLATO treaty, nothing is expected to come from them either.

West Crawford is currently trying to secure their border to defend against East Crawford.

Venango troops are still stationed at their northern border outside East Crawford's capital of Titusville.

Mercer has done nothing since the conflict began, leading us to wonder if they take this war seriously.

Finally, Jefferson proved their uselessness when the Elk County invasion resulted in an immediate retreat. Mayor Phil of Punxsutawney still calls it "Jefferson expansion."

The PLATO treaty is proving to be a complete failure. Even worse, Elk County is now threatening to lower the warm temperatures to 20 below if Clarion does not surrender their land. County War 1 has led to all of western Pennsylvania sitting at the mercy of Pennsylvania antelope. For those who are slow, that is a reference to Elk County.