Washington Military Reaches Objective, Battle of West Pittsburg Begins

It is the first war in history that has not resulted in a single casualty. Three counties are currently facing a noncombative stalemate due to the impenetrable nature of various soldiers, as well as the fear of other more vulnerable soldiers getting hurt in the conflict.

Washington County has successfully reached their objective of Mount Washington in Pittsburgh. After months of demands for Allegheny to surrender the natural monument, Mayor George Washington of Washington Township, capital of Washington County, has sent his army of George Washington soldiers to take the location by force. Now they are trying to figure out how to drag it back to Washington County.

Washington troops assess mountain in oncoming traffic

Meanwhile, in the nation of Lawrence County, a similar objective is at hand for the Allegheny military, who are attempting to take back West Pittsburg from the neighboring superpower. Although Sir Lawrence of Newcastle states that West Pittsburg was never a part of the big Pittsburgh in Allegheny County, Mayor Steelhead of Pittsburgh is going forward with his plan to take the community and drag it back to Allegheny's capital.

Allegheny soldiers assess West Pittsburg in nonexistent traffic

Early Wednesday morning, skirmishes broke out between the Knights of Newcastle and soldiers serving the Allegheny military. Experts say that this is one of the first times an army wielding iron objects met a military made completely of steel beams. This, of course, is with the exception of when Washington County met the Allegheny military two weeks ago, when they discovered their bayonets were useless against the Allegheny soldiers.

The knights serving under Lawrence County seem to be struggling in the battle for West Pittsburgh, as they foolishly decided to arm themselves with fireworks rather than traditional swords. With Newcastle being the self-proclaimed firework capital of the world, the armies serving Lawrence County are finding that the rockets being launched towards Allegheny soldiers do not have enough firepower to harm the enemy due to their steel skeletal structures.

Meanwhile, in the Battle of Mount Washington, Allegheny soldiers are pleading with Washington troops to stop their advancement. This is not to suggest that the Allegheny soldiers are being overrun, only that after discovering their steel beams are incapable of shooting projectiles, they realize they have nothing to fire at the enemy to discourage them from progressing to Mount Washington. This forces them to resort to verbal requests for the enemy to stop and turn back to where they came from.

Allegheny combats Washington with requests to stop

Washington County soldiers have refused to listen to the plea for them to retreat back to their homeland. Now they have successfully reached their objective of Mount Washington. Unfortunately, they are finding it completely impossible to move the natural terrain back to their home county. Pittsburgh would try to prevent them from moving it. But as we explained before, there's really no sense, since the troops are finding no success in moving it.