Washington County Demands Ownership of Mount Washington in Pittsburgh
The nation of Washington County is creating a stir in the Southwestern Pennsylvania region after demanding complete ownership of Mount Washington in Pittsburgh. According to sources, Mayor George Washington of Washington Township, capital of Washington County, told the press this morning that Washington County is prepared to do whatever is necessary to gain control of Mount Washington in Pittsburgh.
Mayor Steelhead of Pittsburgh, capital of
Allegheny County, states that he does not intend to surrender control of the mountain, as it acts as an extra elevation to make the city feel “closed in.”
“The City of Pittsburgh prides itself on feeling like an anxiety attack for claustrophobics,” states Mayor Steelhead. “We could just as easily rename the mountain to keep the peace.”
Mayor George Washington of Washington County responded to the suggestion of changing the mountain’s name in disgust. According to Washington, the hill was named in honor of the Washington legacy for its Washington appeal.
Secretary of State in Washington County, Mr. George Washington, states that Mayor Washington is on point when it comes to the mountain’s significance to the county of Washington County. Though it is unheard of for a county to possess land separate from its borders, Washington states that the legacy of Washington is significant enough to justify ownership of the mountain. Congress met today to discuss the matter of how to pressure Steelhead to surrender the mountain officially.
No official decision has been made about what pressure to place on Pittsburgh. Participants in the debate made little progress due to confusion about which Washington was which. Name tags are being created to resolve the confusion, with each depicting the names of each individual.
This is going to be a long meeting....
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